Is it unusual for me to cry for the aboved - when he was really a sometimes a pig. Now on his death I am finding reasons why he was such a sad sucker.
He bore 5 beautiful sons unlike himself altho they loved him - but to night I am crying for him. I am surprised at myself at crying - but I am - sorry. for the enigma.
it's simple conne, although he was difficult when he was ill, he was your brother, he must have been a good person to have such beautiful sons, crying is good and normal for you now.
Not such an enigma. Maybe one can be more objective when considering someone when not having to cope with how you clashed. And the loss of a close family member is sad in itself anyway.
In any case, you feel what you feel, there is no one qualified to say that should not be so.