time to walk away?

[jen1302]

Think i know the answer myself...but wanted to know what AB's thot !

I rather abusive ex for mine was released from prison on Monday, during his time in jail i was his link to the outside,sorting mail,looking after the house n' stuff and visiting him when i could.i made clear that i was doing these things as a friend and that on his relaese my feelings for him would still be that.my friends had said to leave him and let him work his own way through things,but typical nice me !!

On his release i picked him up and took him home and i thot things were fine between us and he understood the situation.then yesterday he apperaed at my work carpark demanding a lift home,which i done to save embarresment,i then found out that that day he had been driving whilst drunk and banned, in the end i practically had to throw him out the car and drive thro a red light to get away from him.Now he wants me to lie to the police saying i was driving to find out where his car is, because it had been moved from where he had parked it.

i hope this is all making sence.i want to know should i walk away from this man now as i have done all i can for him, but if he cant/wont change then i cant continue to run after him and pick up the pieces...or shouls i not be so selfish and try to help him before he toatally self distructs ?.......

[loobie]

Jen, you need to leave this man. He sounds like a complete waste of space and already he has comitted another serious crime and wants you to lie to the police just days after he's been let out. Don't lie to the police as you can be done as well. You've done enough for him and considering you say he was abusive towards you, you did not have to help him. Get out now and get on with living and enjoying your own life and not trying to sort out his.

If he comes bothering you tell him to go away. If he is persistant, get a restraining order against him.

Please get as far away from this man as possible and go and lead a happpy life. Good luck hun.

[samijuno]

have you read your own letter, stop tryin to pass yourself off as some samaritan/victim! you have a life to lead, you allowed yourself to do all this in the hope he would appreciate it and change, therefore you would ultimately gain something. this has not happened, make the break and get a life or the next person in prison will be you. sorry if i dont sound overly sympathetic but everyone is responsible for their own destiny. good luck

[Champagne]

Absolutely walk away from this man. Some people are just beyond help and I think you�ve done enough already. He sounds remarkably like my first boyfriend who I dated for 6 years!! I did everything I could for that man but I refused to lie for him. I walked away 11 years ago and since then my life experiences have been wonderful. He, on the other hand, has sunk lower and is pathetic as ever. It makes me sick to think that he could have dragged me down with him.

Walk away, Jen. Life shouldn�t be this dramatic for a young woman. You need a fresh start.

[Scarlett]

Get away from him. You have your own life to lead and don't need to get pulled down by this loser. He clearly has not learnt anything about behaviour from his time inside, so leave him to it. Cut the apron strings. He sounds like he is taking advantage of your good nature- and you are feeling like you should help him out. Well, you helped him when he was in jail, and now he's not, so let him sort his own life out.

[Octavius]

Yes, walk away. You can neither be reponsible for his actions whilst you are with him or without him. Let him make his own mistakes on his own, get out and enjoy life.

[mccfluff]

def walk away, everyone makes their own choices in life and he is ob choosing the wrong ones, don't let yourself be dragged down by him. good luck it can be hard but don't feel guilty you have a right to a happy life

[jen1302]

thanx guys for your responses.

like i said thot i knew the answer already..very hard when you have been with someone for such a long time to walk away and watch them fall into oblivion, but time to start looking after no.1 now :-)xx

Take Care everyone

[smudge]

Imagine someone else on AB posted the same question - would you suggest staying with this man? I bet you wouldn't.

I'd stay well clear if I were you.......!

[jno]

you've helped him plenty already - and all it's done is make him think you'll willingly break the law for him. Don't do so. If he self-destructs it's his responsibility, not yours. Concentrate on taking responsibility for your life, not his. Good luck.

[smudge]

Crossed posts - but good luck gen!

[VINNY100_2]

Sounds like this guys going to end up back in prison sometime soon anyway...whatever you do...dont visit him again.Get on with your own life jen....goodluck..!!.

[Rubyrose]

Jen I think you already know the answer to this one. Where can this go if you stay? You are only going to bring yourself down with him. Do not lie for him to the police. For a start if the truth comes out then you will be in trouble too but also how will this ex of yours ever learn if you keep bailing him out? You are doing him no favours either. He will never get his life back on track until the day he is alone and has to fend for himself. Walk away for both your sakes and oneday he will thank you for it. You may wait along time but one day he will.

[Richie1976]

jen I wouldn't walk away, I'd run.

[nuoyg]

I don't know about walk away, If it was me I'd sprint quite quickly.

[Frankie Babe]

Jen, I know its not very easy to walk away but you must. You are clearly worried this man will get into more and more trouble but, and please don't take this the wrong way, if that is the case, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to stop him. Only he has the power to do that.

You've done everything you possibly can to support him (which in my opinion is much much more than he deserves) and all he does is take the pi$$ out of you.

His actions alone leave you with 2 crystal clear choices - either leave him to drag himself into oblivion or get dragged down with him.

[WendyS]

Jen - not only would I walk away quickly I would also have a quiet word with the police in case he turns nasty when he realises that you are not going to lie on his behalf to save him from further trouble. I hope he hasn't got a key to your property. If by chance he has, change the locks.

He has apparently learned nothing from his stay in prison and has no intention of reforming his behaviour. Get him out of your life as quickly as possible before he sucks you into further trouble. . Tell him to stay away and if you have sympathetic neighbours, confide in them so that if he turns up and gets difficult you can call on them for help.

Leave the past behind. You've done all you can for him. Now he must take responsibility for his own actions. Good luck for the future.