AB relationships

[unruliejulie]

Do you find it strange that we tend to form relationships in AB, (certain people gel with others), and yet, we could walk past each other in the street and never know that we have shared our inner thoughts and views with each other? It is a very personal place in here yet so inpersonal.I think that is why it is easy to say what you have to say through anonimity. Could we be as honest if we knew each other personally?

[dot.hawkes]

AB user? venture into the street? LOL, yeah right!

[cliffsdoll]

yeh it does't matter what we say to each other cos we have secret identities and will never meet, at least i dont think we will.

[andy-hughes]

Chad Varah founded The Samaritans on exactly this premise.

He started agreeing to meet parishioners (he was an Anglican priest) to discuss their problems. The idea cuaght on, and he used a fe local ladies to brew tea and chat to visitors while they waited to see him. It transpired that the visitors were getting things of their chests to the volunteers, and the idea for the world-wide listening organisation was born.

I worked as a Samaritan for three years, and the founding principle that you can be far more open and honest with a complete stranger who has no preconceived ideas about you, or personal agenda to give you, works extremely well. The AB is another version of the same principle - you can confide in and disucss issues with cyber-friends far more easily than you can your nearest and dearest.

[Redbel]

andy-hughes, as usual you come back with brilliant facts.

The same thing can be applied to councillors some people find it easier to talk to a stranger someone who won't judge them and knows nothing about them.

I'd like to think of us B&S ABers as one big councilling service (unpaid) :-)

[unruliejulie]

yes, totally agree andy-hughes but we can tell a fair bit about each other from our answers. I have noticed for instance that you always give very precise, well thought out answers. I have had it said of me tonight that i have great depth and am very genuine. this is correct of me or so i would like to think, lol, Good on you being a Samaritan, i am not surprised judging by some of your answers and i applaud such a worthy organization that you have devoted your time to.

[nursecarla]

i would have to say also though that people can disguise who they really are in cyberland hence the reason kids should not be anywhere near chat sites, also i disagree with andy hughes slightly in that samartians work by phone where you hear the persons voice and it is much easier to communicate than by mere words on a screen you could not council someone properly via a pc

[raysparx]

Hello julie, I think if we are honest with our answers most people like that,you are right in as much as we warm to certain people or take a dislike to others that we have never met,I think being annonymous is great because we can't be judged purely on what we look like,some people are a bit shallow like that aren't they, you could be the ugliest person in the world,yet have a pet dog or cat that idolised you they must have more sense than us. I also like to think we could be as honest after all no point in lying, I have a belief that if you never lie you don't need a good memory.

Take care,speak again,Ray x

[*Zeus*]

how u doin

[Rubyrose]

If I am completely honest.. I don't say anything in here that I wouldn't say to my best friend or even a stranger in the street. I am an open book and often tell to much to people, and have been told by many ABers that I give to much away... But all this said and done I know exactly what you mean. I have made some great friends on here and I chat to them on the phone and stuff to and I know I can text some of them in the middle of the night and they would ring me to see that I am ok. Just coz I haven't met these people it doesn't mean they aren't my friends. I had this discussion with my dad the other week and he said that the people I know online aren't my friends coz I haven't met them, but I know more about some of these people than I do about my real friends!

[lia*]

hi everyone,
can we meet for ice cream on my birthday?
*******************************

rubes x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

[Rubyrose]

Hey Lia :o)

Hows you hunny?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[unruliejulie]

rubyrose, i think you have put that excellently, i couldn't agree more.I to am very honest on here. Why not, no-one knows me personally but i'm not a secretive person anyway. I don't mind sharing my life experiences with anyone.

[gill3891]

I think its a good thing that we don't know eachother personally. There are some things that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to many people about (maybes my boyfriend on some things and a best friend from my home town) so I think it's good that I have a group of 'friends' who I can ask and say most things to!

[robbo82]

Conversely, it could be some people on here do know each other, but don't realise it due to their username being unrelated to their real name. I would find it so weird if one of my friends turned round and told me they use AB! I like to think of it as my secret haven no-one else knows about!

[andy-hughes]

I take your point entirely nursecarla - I merely illustrated the concept as being similar, but as you say, not suitable for direct counselling on the same basis as The Samaritans who offer telephone, and face-to-face interaction.