ChatterBank2 mins ago
Parenting - Saying Princess And Big Boy Etc
14 Answers
do you think that subconsciously saying these type of things to little children creates a weird conflict in their mind
for instance, people say patronising things to little boys and girls -
such as ooh you're a big boy now, man of the house, big and strong, and clever etc = yet actually treat the child - quite rightly - like a little boy - we stop them doing things, watching things, saying things etc, and saying they're too young or little for lots of things
and with little girls, we tell them they are princesses, so pretty, so clever so grown up ... but again tell them they cant do all sorts of things - and make it clear they are not princesses at all, they are just kids who have to do as they're told, and they are confused that they are not more special than other kids.
- so does this create a weird confusion in them, that they are of course too little to deal with ... which in later life can create issues??
we think they like it, that it makes them feel good ... and it probably does, but then we knock it down again ... then say it again, only to keep knocking it down ... over and over.
what do you think?
thanks
for instance, people say patronising things to little boys and girls -
such as ooh you're a big boy now, man of the house, big and strong, and clever etc = yet actually treat the child - quite rightly - like a little boy - we stop them doing things, watching things, saying things etc, and saying they're too young or little for lots of things
and with little girls, we tell them they are princesses, so pretty, so clever so grown up ... but again tell them they cant do all sorts of things - and make it clear they are not princesses at all, they are just kids who have to do as they're told, and they are confused that they are not more special than other kids.
- so does this create a weird confusion in them, that they are of course too little to deal with ... which in later life can create issues??
we think they like it, that it makes them feel good ... and it probably does, but then we knock it down again ... then say it again, only to keep knocking it down ... over and over.
what do you think?
thanks
Answers
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by joko. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Our son is called 'big boy' because even though he is 9 months old, he is effing massive; he is also very strong. So if he carries on like this then no, callimg him 'big boy' won't be patronising him, it's just simply the truth.
Admittedly if I started calling him 'princess', he could end up confused.
Admittedly if I started calling him 'princess', he could end up confused.
whenever I addressed my father as
'Father ! '
he would reply 'Sir ! '
It took me around fifty years to realise that HIS father has done it to him.
Oddly enough altho we say miss or ma'am to any unknown woman - even a bag lady - the English have a thing about saying 'sir' to any unknown man - and I have to say it helps me over that. ( and the americans dont - I have never understood that )
'Father ! '
he would reply 'Sir ! '
It took me around fifty years to realise that HIS father has done it to him.
Oddly enough altho we say miss or ma'am to any unknown woman - even a bag lady - the English have a thing about saying 'sir' to any unknown man - and I have to say it helps me over that. ( and the americans dont - I have never understood that )
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