Alcohol Problem.......

[Tilly2]

........Not what you think.
Here it is.

I am going to have two, possibly three 170ml glasses of 11% wine, with added soda water
Mr T is going to have two 440ml of 4% lager, nothing added.


Which one of us will be consuming the most alcohol?

How do I do the sums?

[-Talbot-]

So how much did you both drink?

[Tilly2]

You tell first, Talbot.

[DTCwordfan]

The Reverend E.l.Jones
The Mission
The Sanctuary,
36 Derwent Street
Portsmouth
PO 13 5SS


Dear Tilly,

Perhaps you have heard of me and my cause in the name of Temperance. If not, every year I tour the United Kingdom lecturing on the evils of the dreaded poison, drink, the stuff of Satan that it is.

I would be accompanied by Clive Williams on these tours, Clive an old friend and colleague and an appalling example of what drink can do to a person in destroying his moral fibre and the very soul of his heart.

Clive would sit on stage whilst I gave my lecture, sweating profusely, burping, drooling gallons of saliva, picking bits of his body and farting excessively, all a result of drinking far too much throughout his life. He would swear in damnation and make rude gestures at the women present, a veritable pathetic example of what ethanol can do to a man, taking him far beneath even the gutter.

This last autumn, Clive unfortunately died and has passed onto hopefully a better life.

A mutual friend has given me your name and I am hoping that you can replace Clive on my 2015 and 16 tour beginning in Windsor in October.

Yours faithfully

The Reverend E.L.Jones

[Tilly2]

Oh, I don't qualify! What a shame. I could do with a job. Shucks.