Remember When I Told You

[phleb]

about problems at home. I have finally left after the final straw, where he drove me to despair. I am now staying with my family, my children are feeling sad they had to leave their home. I told him to leave, but her refused. I had to go. I could not take any more of this mental abuse. I was feeling like i was going mad. That it was all my fault. Maybe i did something to trigger all this, i cannot see that i have. I tried my best, but after all these years, i could not handle any more taunts, put downs about my looks and weight, bullying, shouting, demands and orders. Financial struggles; i got into debt because i had no financial support so relied on credit cards.

I am at another bad place now, where i have 3 children and no home, no job, no money. I can cope with that, at least i am not being called an ugly dog and feeling sad and letting myself go. From a confident independent working woman, to one that cried to sleep, looked drained, both emotional and physically and felt alone.

Those of you who read my previous posts will understand, and be glad i have taken this step. I appreciate you all cared and thus gave me advice. thank you.

I do not know what the next step is, maybe try and find my own place to rent, get on the council list. I do not know where to start, so some more advice will be embraced xx.

[ummmm]

Women's aid looks the best bet to start with.

[Maydup]

Although its well intended, under the circumastances I wouldn't reveal on here where abouts you are Phleb. Womens Aid may well offer you a safe haven and a legal representative of their own, and we don't you to be traceable on here.

Make today the day you find some professional support either there or via the CAB. Thinking of you and your family.

[murraymints]

please please Phleb do as we have all said...things WILL get better...we are all right behind you....big BIG cyber hugs ....xxx...

[waterboatman]

Quite right maydup, but I think DT meant the region rather than anything too specific.

[phleb]

Just been on to council and declared myself homeless. I was so worried about them taking my children away. Social services get involved and they don't need to. My children are safe and happy. He loves the kids and saw them yesterday. They cried when they got home, said they missed him and felt bad he was alone, telling me they love us both the same and we are the best mummy and daddy and lets go home. Really tore at my heart strings. What happens when you declare yourself homeless? How does it work? thanks

[ummmm]

My friend 8 weeks in a B&B before getting a house.

[murraymints]

you are given priority with kids for housing..but..see a solicitor you have the law on your side about going back home with kids and he will have to find somewhere to stay..honest !!

[murraymints]

how are things Phleb ?

[Peaspeculiars]

Oh blimey Phleb, I hope things have improved since your last post - You did 100% the right thing and have to hold your children's, and your own, safety & future first.
Wishing you all the best and please talk on here of you can - it's difficult when you feel alone, we might not be able to physically be there for you, but we will try if we can to help if at all possible if you need advice x

[phleb]

Sorry everyone, been so busy with this new place to even reply. Well, council have given me a temporary place to live, its nice and clean until i get a house. Kids daddy has been in touch and said he will move out soon as he finds somewhere, so seems things are going ok so far. I really want to be back in my own home, so thats a welcome suggestion of him moving out. thanks so much for your support xx

[mccfluff]

good luck, i think you made the right decision and its going to be hard but i hope things in time, will get better x

[murraymints]

That is great Phleb...keep him to that, he has probably been told that you and the kids have right of residence not him..as long as you stay safe and strong, it will all work out and you will back in your own home soon....take good care darling..you did the right thing, always remember that xxx

[Retrochic]

Phleb I am genuinely so very very pleased you have finally taken this step,which is a very hard decision but in years to come you will see this as a turning point in your life. Keep strong and do not give in as the next stage will be he will try and win you back. I'm sure you will get both practical and moral support on here so please keep coming on. Although you are not homeless yur local Women's refuge will be able to help you get back on your feet and give you excellent information on how to apply for a new home and the benefits you can receive. Keep strong and good luck!
http://www.refuge.org.uk/

[Bathsheba]

Good luck to you phleb, stay strong. I was in a similar situation many many years ago, + it's a nightmare. You will [i get though it eventually, and there [i]is] a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you.

Baths x x

[phleb]

In 2005 he put me under a lot of stress and made me put half my house on his name, can i fight this through courts, and would it be worth the solicitor costs and the stress? I am really worried about this, as he has remortgaged the house and used the money for his own business, which doesn't seem to be going very well. I signed the remortgage papers, again under pressure, i was scared of him. Where do i stand with all this?

[murraymints]

EEK !! I would imagine very little alas...you must get legal advice ..how are you and the kids ?

[murraymints]

most legal practices will offer a first appointment free..they will be able to let you know if it is worth pursuing ..you must must must do this !

[phleb]

I will go see a solicitor as soon as i can. x

[murraymints]

prepare a list of questions before you go ..write it all down or you will forget..try and take someone with you as you may not remember all the responses..ask if you can record the interview...