Over Protective??

[Halsu]

Hi all, my daughter who is aged 21 and has been at uni in Glasgow for last 3 years has just graduated and moved back home here in Liverpool. She has just got a job in a restaurant / bar in Liverpool city centre, ( we live about 8/9 miles away). She has to work until approx 11pm ish and it means a walk to the station and last train home at 23.15 which arrives at our local station about 15 mins later. The walk home is about 8 mins and is in part quite off road. I worry like mad about her walking home and she insists on saying she is " 21 and fine to walk home". Am I being silly ? It's causing arguments between us as my hubby works nights so is it here to walk up to the station to meet her.

[B00]

Yeah a bit.

I'd be more concerned, if I was her, about making sure she doesn't miss that last train!

[woofgang]

If she hadn't moved home, you wouldn't know what she did....I bet she did things at Uni that would make your hair curl.

[jno]

if she doesn't want to be met, she doesn't. As she says, she's 21 and has to start relying on herself. (I am reliably informed that parents don't stop worrying about kids until the kids have kids of their own.) You might like to offer if it's raining, perhaps, but respect her wishes otherwise.

As said, does she have a Plan B for when she misses the train?

[Halsu]

Hi all, yeah her plan B is to gat the last bus which is quite a it later and walk even further home! However, to behinds r she will most likely not miss the train as she mostly finishes at the latest around 10.30 ish , very rarely later than that. I know she probably did much worse whilst she was away! But it's the old saying they what I didn't know didn't hurt me , now I know about it it's different. It's so hard not to worry

[jno]

ya gotta let go!

[silliemillie]

I don't think you are being overprotective at all. It's not about how old she is, it's about a lady coming home on her own late at night.

To put the boot on the other foot, would she worry about you doing a similar journey? I bet she would say"Mum, you can't walk home at that time" wouldn't she?

Asume neither you or she drive? Cant she get a lift from someone?

[ladyalex]

I don't think you are being overprotective either.
It is dark, she's alone and she's walking off road.
I'd meet her....if I had a car....because if I didn't then I would be walking alone off road in the dark.
NotHing to do with her age.
Would a taxi be too expensive if you don't have a car?

[Canary42]

Are you being silly ? No of course you aren't, but life is full of risks, and worry is a burden every parent bears. You've told her what you think, so no point in going on arguing about it which will only sour your relationship.

Would she (or you for that matter) be unhappy for you to meet her. In fact that might be worth suggesting to her - she would probably reply that she didn't like the idea of you walking to the station alone late at night - resolve that one !

[tinkerbell23]

Im 28- ive walked home from
Clubs etc late... But i do think its a risk so i dont think you are being over protective- is there another option? X

[tonyav]

I don't think that your being overprotective ( not these days anyway ). If my daughter finishes work late then either I or her boyfreind will pick her up from work.

[tamborine]

Best you escort her home, if only for your peace of mind.

[Cloverjo]

If the OP goes out to escort her daughter home, the risk doesn't change. The OP is a woman also, and would have the same risk as her daughter. The only way to be safe is to get a taxi. Or maybe a bike that the daughter could ride to and from the station. I always felt safer on a bike than walking when I worked late.

[Jackdaw33]

If your daughter had been your son would you have been so worried?

[ladyalex]

I would have.

[david small]

Get her a decent personal alarm. Plus a heavy torch/baton. You aren't being silly, just cautious, and rightly so.

[Halsu]

Thank you all for your input! So glad to hear it's just me being a normal mum who worries, and the daughter doesn't get it! I have resolved it by picking her up from the station ( wether she likes it or not! ) xx thank you all I feel so much better x

[Prudie]

Halsu IMO you've done the right thing, it has nothing to do with her age, a woman walking home in the dark is sadly always going to be a bit vulnerable and I'd certainly pick my daughter up I could.

[rsvp]

Just a suggestion but has your daughter taken a self defence course, could she take up judo or anything like that? does she carry an alarm of any sort? And for what it's worth I don't think you are being over protective I think you are just being a Mum but there's very little you can do about it I'm afraid.