confirmation

[saab-lady]

Is it necessary to be a regular church goer to be confirmed ? My daughter was informed, by a local vicar, that she would not be allowed and would be actively stopped from being confirmed because she cannot go to church on sundays .

[Ethel]

Yes, I think so. If you want to be confirmed into the Church it is usual to show some commitment and attend.

There are other services throughout the week that she could attend.

[chazza]

It would depend on the Church. Certainly in the Church I attended, people were confirmed who were not regular church-goers

[waimarie]

Hi saab-lasy, It would seem rather pointless for your daughter to be confirmed if she is not, nor intends to be, a regular church goer. It's a bit like applying for a driving licence and having no intention of driving or owning a car, pointless. As Ethel has said, Sunday is not the only day your daughter could attend church.

[saab-lady]

My daughter regards herself as a christian and has just finished attending a church school , run by the same vicar who will not confirm her.She was invited to attend the confirmation lessons and after 2 weeks was then told that they didn't want her and her friend there anymore. She is now questioning her christianity as a result of this attitude

[Ralph]

Tell her not to question christianity, rather question why a vicar would go out of his way to further and actively reduce a dwindling congregation. He's not worth arguing with, he's obviously "got the power".

She could go to another church, but in all honesty, if it's too much trouble to go to the one you're talking about, it'll probably be too much trouble to go to a different one. She doesn't have to get confirmed either, it's unlikely to improve your life!

[saab-lady]

Thanks Ralph I will tell her your comments. She has decided that she wants no more to do with the vicar concerned.The issue of going to church isn't helped by us living miles away from his church and unless i can transport her she can't get there.

I was confirmed and you're right , it didn't change my life .

[markja]

saab-lady, i believe that christianity is, or should be, the way you act and doesn't need you to go to church to be a christian. in my village as a youngster i knew a couple of old dears that were church goers but not very christian! i am a moralist and feel that what is most important is how you treat other people. without getting into a religious debate, i feel if there is a god he will judge you on your deeds not if you pottered along to church every week or got confirmed.

[spangle111]

I agree with markja - Christianity is all about how you live your life - not how often you go to church. One of the least Christian people I know is a priest so, if she really wants to be confirmed try classes at another church, although they may well insist that she does attend every Sunday until after the confirmation

[Cetti]

This really does make me livid saab-lady, how I wish all these man-made church laws were abolished for ever!

I imagine your daughter wants to be confirmed so she can have communion, would that be correct? This was the case years ago and I'm amazed it's still around, obviously there are a few vicars that stick by the C of E rulebook instead of the Bible.

This used to be the procedure - First you had to be christened (baptised), then confirmed - going on a six week course beforehand, then, and only then were you able to take communion. I'm sure you know this is not biblical and puts a terrible burden on people like your daughter who are unable to attend on a Sunday.

Again I'm jumping to conclusions so please excuse me if I'm horribly wrong, but if your daughter has a personal relationship with God then no one on earth can stop her taking the bread and wine when she feels like it - not even the local vicar!!

[saab-lady]

Spot on Cetti. When my daughter gets home from school I will show her your response. I'm sure she will feel better about God and Christianity after reading it . Thankyou for your views Cetti and also markja and spangle111