Would You...??

[jd_1984]

Charge a wedding guest, who had RSVP'd that they would attend their wedding, but, then NOT turn up without giving notice - for their meal?

Well this is what a friend of a friend did to him last week.

He got a polite note requesting £50 (2 x£25 wedding meals) from the newly weds. He didn't attend due to work commitments and felt awful for not letting them know. But would you pay?

[ummmm]

100% with you on that one, Woof.

[andy-hughes]

Elina - //I know you wouldn't not reply (neither would I) .... but if you'd totally overlooked it say, would you pay if asked Andy .. //

If I had not replied due to an oversight, I would send a note expressing sincere apologies, but no, I would not pay.

If my friends think their money is more important than my friendship, and they don't know me any better than to know I would never be so rude as to not respond to their invitation knowingly, then I would be thinking very seriously about the future of our friendship.

So no, I would not pay!

[EcclesCake]

I'm not sure who is worse, the guest for not advising the couple that they were unable to attend or the couple for invoicing the absent guest.

I would pay up and send the cheque with a covering note saying 'nice knowing you!'

[Ellipsis]

> This happened at my daughter's wedding a few years ago, a guest rang on the morning to say she and her partner would not be coming, so we let some friends who were only going to the evening come to the reception too.

That's exactly what could have happened in this case if the guest had bothered to let them know.

It can be a nightmare for the bride and groom to figure out who to invite to the wedding and who to invite to the evening do. It's the height of rudeness to accept the invitation and then not to show up, without giving any notice. That's the first thing to damage the friendship.

After that, asking for payment is a case of two wrongs not making a right. It shouldn't have been done. But the main wrong was not turning up without giving notice.

I wonder, did the absent guest get the marrying couple a nice wedding gift? Or, since he didn't bother turning up to the wedding, didn't he bother doing that either? So rude and selfish ...

[Elina]

I agree with your way of thinking. I would pay as asked though, but lose the ... frienship? ?

[Elina]

Eccles, quite!

[woofgang]

That's what I mean about the way weddings have gone Ellipsis...the wedding....who goes to the church, who goes to the breakfast, who "only" gets an invite to the evening do. What happened to wedding, reception, done deal, and only doing what whoever was forking out for it could comfortably afford?

[tulipchickuk]

I imagine the couple don't really want the money - just an explanation for the no show
A wedding is a big deal and for someone to just not turn up is rude and selfish.
The newly weds are probably returning the favour lol

[mikey4444]

I'm with MM here. I would have let them know in advance, if that was possible.

But something has occurred to me ....I am not sure that I would want to go to the wedding of the kind of people that invite me to attend, and fine me when I don't !

[DTCwordfan]

If I got charged (theoretical - as I would let them know there was an issue), I would send the wedding present back to the shop.

[andy-hughes]

tulip - //A wedding is a big deal and for someone to just not turn up is rude and selfish.
The newly weds are probably returning the favour lol//

It is a big deal, so why sully the memory by being nasty to make a point?

If your friend is the sort of person who couldn't make it, or forgot, and is genuinely sorry, then you let it go.

If they are people with whom you feel you need to make this nasty small-minded point, then you should consider if they should be your friends, and then think about your part in it, and wonder how much of a friend you really are for being so nasty.

[viv41]

No, I wouldn't pay.

[-SharonA-]

I would not pay, but there again I would have called to let them know I would not be coming. I know someone this has happened to. It was a 40th birthday sit down dinner party. They did not pay either and now not talking to their friends.

[Zacs-Master]

I'd send the note back with a not so polite reply! Cheeky bleeders.

[Tilly2]

Is that how much it costs now...£25.00 per meal? Goodness!

[marval]

I would have made sure they knew that I couldn't attend. But I probably would have paid, not been too happy about it though.

[Peter Pedant]

I would probably along with an abject note of apology that I had not lifted the phone or left some other message

and dont forget the expensive wedding prezzie !