You only need 2 tools in life- WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an...
Nelson Mandela returned home with Winnie after a stroll in the park to find a pile of exhaust pipes on his lawn. Next day he returned home to find a pair of headlights, a bumper and a 25 gallon drum...
I have just had a phone call from an Asian man telling me he was from the Electricity Board and that because we pay our electricity bills immediately we have been selected for the provision of a...
Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a date rape drug going around called...
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist...
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the...
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". " Of course you can come...
Been excitedly waiting for delivery of my new iphone.....its just arrived.........and i cant even get the back off to put sim card in!!!!! it also comes with a smaller card - if i need to use that it...
18a. This wise speaker involved in chance to win big - many years ago. ???S? S?E?????K? 27a. His great fear is that he will be living under the french/ ??????I? 1d. From which comes one of the lines...
15d Lily from slope had to be repositioned (8) -S-----. 16d Rival work with page about half of course (8) -P------. 17d Turn from friendly woman before time in a story (8) -L------. Many thanks, Danny...