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heathfield

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heathfield

How It (Doesn't) Work

Anyone know why the AB site Search comes back with ''No Relevant Questions found.'', whatever word you enter? Frustrating, or what?? ;-(
16:28 Thu 20th Nov 20086 answers, last by heathfield 08:41 Fri 21st Nov 2008
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heathfield

Mistaken Identity

In the days of the British Raj in India, a fresh young lieutenant had just joined his regiment, and was being interviewed by his commanding officer. 'What's your name, lad?'' the CO asked....
10:55 Thu 23rd Oct 2008
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heathfield

Mistaken Identity

In the days of the British Raj in India, a fresh young lieutenant had just joined his regiment, and was being interviewed by his commanding officer. 'What's your name, lad?'' the CO asked....
10:54 Thu 23rd Oct 20081 answer, last by joggerjayne 10:56 Thu 23rd Oct 2008
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heathfield

Vista Clipboard - Where's it hidden?

I found it very useful in WinXP to have a Windows Clipboard shortcut on the Desktop. That way I could readily check the the last thing I'd copied. But with Vista on my new laptop, I'm blowed if I can...
22:27 Thu 13th Mar 20082 answers, last by heathfield 08:52 Fri 14th Mar 2008
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heathfield

Logical, I suppose.

Q: Where would you find a tortoise with no legs? A: Wherever you'd left it!
16:55 Sat 16th Feb 2008
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heathfield

And then there was...

A German and an English truck driver were having an argument about the merits of their own nations trucks. 'I haff come before mit a 40 tonne load from Hamburg to Manchester in twelve and a haff...
22:33 Tue 22nd Jan 2008
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heathfield

Sweeney Todd

I hear that the new Sweeney Todd film is a musical, but the makers, realising that many people (like me) don't like musicals very much, have left out all singing from the film's trailer. Isn't this a...
09:32 Fri 18th Jan 200818 answers, last by dundurn 10:03 Thu 24th Jan 2008
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heathfield

Erratic page loading.

Can anyone, (especially AB Editor), explain why, recently, pages on AB can load instantly at one moment, then a few minutes later they take forever? This morning it got so bad that I was getting 'Web...
11:08 Mon 26th Nov 20071 answer, last by pug100 11:22 Mon 26th Nov 2007
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heathfield

Strange...

I've seen the AB Ed's message about work being done on the website, but... At various times, yesterday and today, clicking on 'http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/' results in a 'not available' or 'Site...
22:24 Tue 23rd Oct 20072 answers, last by heathfield 08:35 Wed 24th Oct 2007
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heathfield

Cheap Joke

Notice how Pavarotti's coffin was made of thin MDF with rope handles? Mrs Pavarotti shouldn't have asked the undertaker to provide a coffin for a tenor.
09:15 Fri 07th Sep 2007
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heathfield

Getting his own back

A beautiful young woman walked into a busy bar and sat next to a man who was obviously very impressed by her appearance. Turning towards her, the man asked if he could buy her a drink. 'Sleep with...
17:12 Tue 14th Aug 20071 answer, last by sidkid 00:51 Wed 15th Aug 2007
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heathfield

Rubbish Discharge

While idly speculating, I fell to wondering if, (quite accidentally, of course!), a close spark from an electronic gas lighter might cripple the electronic chip placed on wheelie bins by some local...
11:52 Thu 31st May 20073 answers, last by Bookworm9 19:51 Fri 01st Jun 2007
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heathfield

Feelgood Factor

Q. How could you titillate an ocelot? . . . . A. You could oscillate its tits a lot.
20:08 Sat 07th Apr 20077 answers, last by Trillipse 09:15 Fri 04th May 2007
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heathfield

But seriously...

A Scotsman entered a greetings card shop, and asked the assistant, 'Do you have any bereavement cards?' 'We certainly do', replied the assistant. 'I wonder.' said the Scotsman, 'Could I exchange this...
10:17 Tue 03rd Apr 20071 answer, last by Kimmiebear 00:49 Wed 04th Apr 2007
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heathfield

Ouch!

It was at a cricket match at the Oval, with England versus the West Indies... The West Indies fast bowler sent a really viscious bumper toward the English batsman. The batsman let out a loud scream,...
15:32 Wed 21st Feb 20071 answer, last by JonnyBoy12 23:17 Sat 06th Oct 2007
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heathfield

Music without instruments

A few years ago I came across a website that mentioned a music festival held somewhere in Wales. Among competitions was one for music composed using no musical instruments. One winner was a...
09:33 Wed 24th Jan 2007
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heathfield

Jokes?

I think I prefer 'Humour' to 'Jokes' as a topic. While the former can include the latter, the title 'Humour' provides for a wider range of wit. Anyone else of a like mind?
09:07 Fri 10th Nov 20066 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 22:23 Sun 07th Oct 2007
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heathfield

While raising a glass...

My local is a pub that welcomes dogs, as well as their owners. The other night, one of the regulars asked those present, "How come you never see white dog poo any more?" This halted the conversation....
21:15 Fri 18th Aug 20065 answers, last by heathfield 11:49 Sun 20th Aug 2006

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