Awwww i am just NOT a morning person.... I hate people talking to me when im just up!! I got up for a pee earlier and as soon as my feet touch the floor mum thinks i am now up and comes in talking...
thank you for any help given in advance, no number of letters given to the answers, 1. One of five plus ce 2. another for the oyster plant 5 everyone in the middle of the shot 6, tom thumb comes to...
The following quotations are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts by Charles M. Sevilla and are things people actually said in court. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said...
Lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, 'What is your name?' 'I can't tell you,' the black man says. Every...
to save arguments about what constitues hunters chicken, this one is chicken wrapped in bacon with cheese and a bbq sauce i've never had it before as i hate bbq sauce (yes i know) but what do you have...
When US Americans can't differentiate between accents from the British Isles, they can get into a lot of trouble. To wit: I was in a pub last night and saw two "girls of size" (as PC now...
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I...
I have apparently been barred from the local Co-op for being rude and aggressive towards one of the checkout 'ladies'. I wouldn't mind but the 'lady' in question would make Attila the Hun seem like...
A young man joins the Air Force. He writes to his father, saying that he is really frightened about the upcoming parachute exercises. A few months later he gets leave and goes home. His father asks,...
Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an...
This joke is as old as me if not more,,, An old copper, Pc Hardy, was on his beat one night when he saw Johnny cycling towards him, his front lamp was flashing on and off. Just as Pc Hardy was about...
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren....