Old lady says to her husband, "My nipples are as hot today a they were 50 years ago!"
Husband replies, "Oughtta be! One's in your coffee the other is in your porridge"....
God: Got killed again huh? Cat: You know me, curiosity lol god: haha, yep, that'll getcha! cat: Yep. Anyways.. nice seeing you again, but i need to get back to my family now God: Cat.. i'm sorry to...
Me: Mum, look at this picture i took the other day.. Mum: OOhh, Hang on.. *Finds glasses (10 min), puts on cardigan (4 min), gets comfortable on the sofa(2 min) Me: *Hands her the phone* Mum: *hits...
A little boy was sitting on a curb, eating candy just as fast as he could unwrap it. A man passing by saw what he was doing. He said "All that candy is not good for you, it will spoil your dinner!"....
Son: Dad, i want a iphone X
Dad: What's the secret word, Son?
Son: Karen
Dad: Who is Karen?
Son: Your lover, Dad
Dad: Do you want it with a case too?...
If you are born in the USA, you've more chance of dying from an opioid overdose than from a car accident.
https://www.hhs.gov/opioids/about-the-epidemic/index.html...
The new Samsung fridge is so smart, it sends a message to your phone if you've left the door open.
Me, an intellectual: If it's so smart, why doesn't it just shut its own door ?...
No only did he start the bleach buzz cut trend, but he also received the most sold albums in 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JByDbPn6A1o&index=6&list=RDsbRPGGJQao4 Now.. Do we think this is due...
Unless you're SK. ;) https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46765681 When i signed up to get my TV license, i did it through the governments website. It has clear instruction of how they will contact me, when...
I try to eat meat and two veg for dinner.. usually ends up as broccoli and roast potatoes being the two veg.. i feel it's not as healthy as it could be. Anyone got any ideas to spice up my life a...
