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tonyav

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tonyav

two dwarves

go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their seperate hotel rooms. the first dwarf is unable to get an erection and his depression is made worse by the fact that, from the...
14:36 Wed 19th Aug 20091 answer, last by redcrx 14:38 Wed 19th Aug 2009
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tonyav

two footballers

get out off their car and accidentally lock the keys inside. wayne says to dave, we could get a coat hanger and try to unlock it or prise the door open '' dave replies, '' well whatever we do, we had...
14:21 Wed 19th Aug 2009
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tonyav

for some time

many of us have wondered who is jack sh!t ? we find ourselvesat a loss when someone says, you dont know jack sh!t thanks to my effortsyou can now respond in an intellectual way. jack sh!t is the only...
15:44 Mon 17th Aug 20093 answers, last by lindylou16 21:02 Tue 18th Aug 2009
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tonyav

a man goes to bed

and reaches over to his wife. he starts sliding his hand slowly across her shoulders then down her side just glancing her breasts, then carries on down her side and legs. he slides her legs apart and...
12:32 Mon 10th Aug 2009
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tonyav

the zoo

a bloke takes his kids to the zoo. when they get inside there's just one cage with one small dog sitting inside it. he storms in to the office to complain '' you call this a zoo ? ! ! it's just one...
12:21 Mon 10th Aug 20091 answer, last by Whickerman 22:56 Tue 11th Aug 2009
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tonyav

klown

where's the klown gone, i can't remember the last time i laughed so much as when i reading his thread.
16:53 Sat 01st Aug 200910 answers, last by tonyav 18:02 Sat 01st Aug 2009
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tonyav

sir bobby robson.

sir bobby robson has died.
11:40 Fri 31st Jul 200914 answers, last by neo. 18:53 Fri 31st Jul 2009
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tonyav

a bloke lying in bed

with his wife says to her, ''if i had plastic surgery to make myself bigger, would you do the same?'' the wife replies, '' yeah i'd do that - it sounds like a good deal. '' the bloke says, ''exellent...
16:29 Thu 30th Jul 2009
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tonyav

std.

Q' what is the number 1 std among females?. A, headache.
16:14 Thu 30th Jul 2009
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tonyav

ugly car.

carrying on from crankshaft,s thread, what make and model do you think is the ugliest car ever built.
10:07 Wed 29th Jul 200928 answers, last by tonyav 08:58 Thu 30th Jul 2009
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tonyav

two newcastle united fans

are walking in newcastle city centre, when they spot an advert in a chemist's window, saying:'' free newcastle united season tickets. apply within. '' one of them heads into the shop, while the other...
15:53 Tue 28th Jul 20092 answers, last by carlton23 10:50 Thu 06th Aug 2009
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tonyav

french troops

french troops arrived in afghanistan last week and not a minute too soon. the french are acting as advisers to the taliban to teach them how to surrender properly.
08:33 Wed 22nd Jul 20092 answers, last by denis567 22:59 Wed 22nd Jul 2009
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tonyav

on august 7th 2009....

at 34 minutes and 56 seconds past 12..... the time and date will read...... 12 : 34 : 56 07/ 08 / 09 123456789 this won't happen again for another thousand years !!!.
12:30 Sun 12th Jul 20095 answers, last by john1066 17:08 Sun 12th Jul 2009
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tonyav

mr johnson and his secretary are on a train to paris.

they're just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, '' im feeling a little cold could i borrow your blanket, please?'' mr johnson says, ''...
12:20 Sun 12th Jul 20091 answer, last by Sam.Spade 20:19 Sun 12th Jul 2009
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tonyav

if a woman

is uncomfortable watching you w@nk. do you think ? (a) you need more time together (b) shes a f@cking prude or (c) she should sit somewhere else on the bus.
16:09 Sun 01st Feb 2009
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tonyav

just moved to a new house

but f@ck me its a rough area. myra hindley is the avon lady, fred west is the gardener, louise woodward is the babysitter, harold shipman is my new gp, garry glitter runs the play group and the mcanns...
15:53 Sun 01st Feb 20093 answers, last by beejay1124 15:57 Sun 01st Feb 2009
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tonyav

bloke walks into a pub

and asks for a pint of anything except stella. barman asks, whats wrong with stella ?'' bloke says, '' i had 12 pints of stella last night and when i came round i was f@cking skint.'' barman says, ''...
15:30 Sun 01st Feb 20096 answers, last by knobbsworth 15:59 Sun 01st Feb 2009
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tonyav

bums

(-!-) regular arse (_!_) fat arse (!) tight arse (-*-) sore arse (-o-) well used arse (-e=mc2-) smart arse and my favourite (-x-) kiss my arse !
12:35 Sun 01st Feb 20092 answers, last by ll_billym 13:24 Sun 01st Feb 2009
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tonyav

mad mary

was speeding around the hospial as usual in her wheelchair. mad joe stopped her and asked for licence '' sh!t '' she said and sped off round another corner. mad jim then stopped her and asked her for...
12:23 Sun 01st Feb 2009
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tonyav

tips

wheres todays hot tips ?.
10:14 Sat 31st Jan 200913 answers, last by beejay1124 10:58 Sat 31st Jan 2009

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