As it's nearly time for ABers with connections to North of the Border to eat their national dish (Be careful of Tesco's Haggis, folk) and to be horizontal on the floor, isn't it about time that you hoist the petard (oops, sorry, standard) of the Satire and perhaps wave a thistle around, Ed?
Reminds me of a friend who said she was once so desperate for the loo, she had to go in the holly bush. Recognising my concern at the pain that would have caused her, she hastily explained that the Holly Bush is a pub. :o)