Getting over the death of a dog

[blond_law]

I had to have my faithful friend put down on sunday and at the moment i am finding it very difficult. I know its not been long but the house seems so big and empty without him. He was a beautiful beige lab but he had a dwarfism which made him extra special. Just wondered if anyone out there had been thru this and if so how they found methods to cope with their loss. He was 13 so was around for a big part of my life. I miss his smell, his touch, all the little things he use to do! any advice would be gratefully received.

[sandmaster]

I feel so much for you. Only time makes it better. Eventually you will only remember the happiness he gave you and come to accept that it was for the best.

[andy-hughes]

Some people scoff at the notion of grieving for a pet, but for owners who were close to their dogs, the pain is as sharp and lasting as for a family member.

The short answer is - grief is a process with no short-cuts, it has to be gone through and it wil take its own time.

There will be days of intense sadness, and days of happy memories, but you need to rolll with your feelings.

The worst aspect is other people, who will assume within a few weeks that you are over your loss, and fail to understand if you are still upset.

Try and understand that this is the way a lot of people perceive pets - except those who love and loose them, so be strong, and you will feel better as the days pass.

Eventually you will think of your friend fondly, and with a twinge of pain, but the good memories will long outlast this pain.

[paddywak]

As andy and sandmaster says it's something that only time will heal, and to be honest it's something you never really do get over, but gradually you forget the loss and remember the great times. Che, a GSD was the first dog I'd had that was MINE as opposed to a family pet and when I lost him after nearly 15yrs I still cann't believe how upset I was I couldn't even bear to look at a GSD for ages but believe me you do eventually get over the loss and now I've got Max another GSD. Also as andy says don't let the "its only a dog" brigade upset you and if you feel like a sympathetic shoulder to cry on just come on here, you'll find plenty of people who have gone through the same and know exactly what you are going through

[I love Tiggy]

Oh my goodness.
I had my 15 year old collie put to sleep about three weeks ago and it is very hard to handle but you do come to terms with it.

There are some very supportive people on this site, they are absolutely fantastic and helped me out a lot.
I was sent a poem called 'Rainbow Bridge' it will make you cry but helps.

I do still hear Tupps from time to time, maybe it's my subsconscious i don't know. It may be her way of saying 'Mum chill out, i'm fine now and happy' she may even be playing with your lab in doggie heaven. She did love the labs - she had a boyf called Sam.

Take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[wolf63]

Remember that he wasn't really a dog - he was a person that you loved and cared for who just happened to be in a dog's body. He loved you very much too - and not just cupboard love! :-)

Think of all the stupid things that he did - being a Lab I take it there were many of them. Look at his photographs and talk about him. The pain does decrease but let this happen in YOUR time and don't let the 'only a dog' brigade make you feel that his death means less than that of a human and that you should no longer be grieving.

Best wishes.

[blond_law]

Thank you very much for all ur responses. Sam was such a loving dog, a best friend really. i have been given the looks of "its only a dog" but unless ur a dog person u really don't understand what a sad loss it is. The problem was we thought he was going to be ok - obviously being a dwarf his legs caused him problems. He was fine one minute and then suddenly his legs just gave up and within 4 days he was gone. He gave me a look before he went as if to say "this is the right thing to do, this will put me out of pain" but now he is gone, i'd give anything to see him again. I can't believe one minute he was good and the next gone. Its so painful, i feel like my heart has been ripped out - i miss him so much xx

[hippyhoppy]

Ahh - blond - I know exactly how you feel. I had to have my dog put to sleep last year and I still miss her - she was 13 and very poorly. My daughter thinks it's odd, but I keep count of the weeks (it was 91 weeks ago yesterday), and I always shout 'Roise, I'm home' when I come though the front door. She now lives in a little box on my bedside table .. Is does get easier, you know it will, just take as much time as you need. xx

[weecalf]

I know exactly how you feel .We had to have a beautiful dog put down .Please dont think Im being cruel but the way we dealth with it was When we came back from the vets on New years eve I went out in to the yard and removed his kennel away from its usual spot changed the yard about so it looked different from when he was there .We sat down later and talked about him.We all more or less came to the conclusion that what happened was in no way our faulf .We wanted him to be well and able and still with us .It was not to be ,no ones fault .The one desicsion we came to was no other dog for two reasons ,he was not replaceable and its a time fact,were we not going to give another 10-12 years to another dog.All this may be of little help at this time but you know something Im sitting typing this and can look up a photo of him and smile .I did not think I could do that 2 years come end of December.Good Luck

[horselady]

Oh dear, been through this so many times now and it never gets any easier. It will get to a point when it doesn't ache quite so much when you wake up in the morning and he's not there, but you will always miss him. Just think how much you loved him and he loved you and remember the good times you had together. That's it, now I'm bawling

[I love Tiggy]

He knew you love him and took that with him.
My tupps went peacefully, i know that she was ready in her own way - poor love was 15years old. Gorgeous collie she was.
I do believe that humans and animals take our love with them when they go.
Take care of yourself, he knows what he meant to do.
You will get those who don't realise what our dogs mean to us, they are not worth sparing a second thought for.
My thoughts are with you.
xx

[jules77]

Been where you are now, and the pain will ease over time, leaving you with fond memories of your boy. He had a good life and knew he was loved, at least he didnt suffer with a prolonged illness. In time I am sure you will see your way to have another dog to love and share your life with, no one will replace him, but they all have their own special ways.

[bensmum]

I can't add anything to what's been said but as a pet owner for many years I have been where you are now and I know how you feel. They are part of the family and you grieve as such - anyone who says otherwise has obviously never experienced it. There is no set method of coping - you will find your own way. It will take time but you will eventually remember him without feeling the raw pain you feel now. Take care
XX

[paddywak]

In regards to getting another dog, I too decided never again and stuck to it untill about 7yrs ago, when I suffered a stroke fortunatly though it was enough to put me off work for good I made as good a recovery as to be expected. then strangely, magazines and papers started appearing all over the house, all by some coincidence containing articles (or ads) about GSD's eventually I gave in and on Newyears Eve 2001 in collected Max, an 8wk old ball of fluff, now a huge hairy monster who is presently lying on my feet in case I try to escape without him. Untill I got him I never realised how big a hole losing Che had left. Max complements the memory of Che even though he's a different dog, so blondie dont rush, take time to mourn for Sam and then perhaps think of another dog he won,t be Sam but he will give you the same love and pleasure

[eileenb]

If you feel like crying/shouting/been silly/talking about him just do it. come on here talk to us,tell us what your feeling,even just write if you feel down and want to be grumpy.
we do understand,and it does help .
the Rainbow Bridge site will make you cry but it helps knowing your not alone.

[cruella]

I lost my Westie seven years ago to a brain tumour.
I was devastated, just as you are now.
Could not stop crying, unable to function for weeks.
I eventually found a "Rainbow Bridge" site online.
I posted two pics of him, told his life story on it, how much I was missing him.. and the bond and love that we shared.
Once it was all written down, I felt a little better.
Through time, I did eventually get over his death.
I have never forotten him.
I vowed I would never have another pet, but a little Westie needed re-homed two years ago, so now I have Misty. Both dogs totally different natures, but loved.
It takes time and I do feel for you.
The "Rainbow Bridge" site did help me.
Keep us updated on how you are feeling. xxx

[garner]

Been there , and it's awful I know.But as the other abers have stated it's all true.Time will heal the pain but you will never forget your shadow ever.My thoughts are with you.g.

[Schutzengel]

It 14 yrs since my beautiful Jock, a black lab cross GSD, passed over the rainbow bridge, and I still miss him. I often think I see him out of the corner of my eye, and when I turn to look, it's only a shadow. Jock was 16 and a half years old, and he knew and I knew that the dogs on the other side of the rainbow bridge were calling him home. My heart aches for you in the loss of your lovely dog. The present emptiness is so painful, but it will get better with time, and there will come a time when you will be able to think of all the good times you had together. There are so many lovely people on this site, who are here with a shoulder for you to cry on whenever you feel the need. Bless you.

[shaneystar2]

I well up everytime I see a post like this .Sorry you have lost your pal and when it's sudden like that it seems worse somehow .That's what happened with Shaney ,there one minute and gone the next .I still sit and snivel about it now and again and it's eighteen months since he went .
Like hippyhoppys pooch he lives in a box ,in the lounge and I still say goodnight to him .He's on my screen when I switch this machine on and I touch his face .Daft really but you get so attached to them .
You will feel better and to be fair it's the kindest thing we can do for a pet when they reach the end of their days .Take care .

[puddicat]

Like relationships blond you will cry buckets and then fade,but now and again you will remember the good times!!

[Jugglering]

Sorry to read of your sad news Blond_law... {{{hug}}} to you... from a fellow animal lover.

Nothing will ever take away the hurt you are feeling right now, except time and lots of hugs and cuddles from those around you at the moment. Huge sympathies for your loss, we here in this section of AB know exactly how you are feeling, virtually all of us have been there.

There will come a time, hopefully sooner rather than later, when you will be able to look at photos of your lovely friend and instead of crying, you will smile and remember his antics, foibles and special nature. I still get rather wet eyes when I recall my first wee feline monsters (like 25 years ago) - hey, this is what makes YOU so special too, cos you love and care about our four legged friends. Welcome to the club !