Updated Site Rules

[FredPuli43]

Ed. Good luck with the one that says posts should be on the topic ! We do tend to wander (or is that wonder; never know which is which) on here!

[boxtops]

is it electric, wyedyed?

[WyeDyed]

I don't know.
How do I find out?

[boxtops]

I would say lick it and see, but that might get us into trouble. Or hospital.

[WyeDyed]

SQUAD!

I have a buzzing sensation all up my right side, my hair is standing on end and I keep juddering...


Am I pregnant?

[FredPuli43]

Careers advice.Are passes in woodwork and Religious Knowledge still the entry level requirement for apprentice undertakers? And what CRB checks do I need?

[WyeDyed]

^^^
Take LSD and monitor the situation.

[Charity]

I had a dream last night that Johnny Depp was unzipping my tent flaps - what does it mean?
Could I be pregnant?

[tenrec]

Ooh Johnny Depp can unzip my flaps anytime.

[tenrec]

-suspenders-

[Charity]

If my mother is not in a care home can I still buy a red automatic Honda Jazz?

[Barmaid]

Yes you can Charity but when she does go into a care home, Social Services will come and take the car and your first born plus a kidney and sacrifice them to the God of Care Home Fees.

[Charity]

Even if I own 4/8 of her house but rent it to Ming the Merciless from Thursday until the next full moon?

[Charity]

Yes, have you considered buying a blue automatic Honda Jazz - there's space for more scotch eggs in the glove box.

Charity

[rowanwitch]

Johnny Depp I've got johnny Duck first name John and he Ducks into the plough, Ducks into the Wellington, Ducks into the Shakespeare, the Green man etc etc etc

I will be seeing Mr Depp for Relationship counselling next friday any messages...

[Hopkirk]

Mind - the - gap

[rowanwitch]

My mother wants to put me in a care home as she thinks I am confused She has no money and I don't want her to access my pension fund If I put everything I have in a trust fund for the local cat sanctuary would that stop her

[Charity]

I'm sorry but could you repeat the question - I had to leave the room and plunge my nethers into an Eskimo's fishing hole.

[rowanwitch]

hope a seal didn't come up and bite your bum...

[FredPuli43]

Pinnipeds.

[Charity]

Is it safe to apply a migraine kool 'n' soothe sheet to the affected region to prevent spontaneous human combustion in the event of any further mention of Johnny Depp?