Question For ED

[bruce5755]

I dont know if you have realised yet, but we have lost a valuable member of our group as a result of some upsetting comments made by another member in haste.  Can anything be done about this.

Thanks bruce5755

[netibiza]

bruce5755 - don't worry she'll be back.  It happens all the time with members.

[acw]

After your efforts?  I doubt it very much.  Perhaps next time you want a member to f*ck off, you could just write a note to ABE rather than voicing it so publicly!?

[crop]

No guys im not gone.....oh wait you wernt talking about me.

[acw]

NB.  I realise it wasn't acutally netibiza who used the words "eff off", but it was pretty clear at the time that she was in full agreement.  Sorry for any confusion caused. 

[ICEMANSAV]

Who has gone? Who told who to eff off?

[acw]

Artful has left the AB and asked the ABE to remove all her posts.  ABE very kindly agreed. 

In light of ABE's recent public requests not to stir things up , and in an attempt to be calmer than I was on earlier posts in this thread, I won't say who said it.  But that user (and others) know who they are.  The person told to eff off was Artful.  Sadly, she did.  :-(

[ICEMANSAV]

thats a shame, what was the disagreement? or can you not say?

[acw]

It all surrounded suspicions about people reporting other people's posts.  With Artful's posts having all been removed from AB at her request, it all makes it a little difficult to piece together now.  However,   http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question128106.html that thread may be of interest. 

That's the ABE guidance I was referring to by the way!!

a

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[netibiza]

No acw I was not agreeing with anyone - just pointing out that sometimes people disagree, and it happens to all of us.  After all recently someone called you "an opinionated little madam" but you haven't flounced off have you.  I had also stuck up for her in the same thread.  A few months ago she had a go at me, but I just left the thread as I'm not a war- monger, and have always believed that people are entitled to their opinions, but never to be rude.

[ICEMANSAV]

cheers for that acw. Iceman

[ICEMANSAV]

I agree with both of you neti and acw, debates can get heated and will continue to do so, however it shouldn't decend to insults like neti said. Its safer to stock to answering the what did you have for tea posts ;-)

[acw]

Well you once told me in no uncertain terms not to bother voicing my opinion - that was pretty aggressive. 

I took the "opinionated little madam" comment as a compliment.  Especially as it was immediately followed by words to the effect of "but I agree with you". 

Artful didn't "flounce off", she left because she was sick of the cr"p that goes on on this site nowadays.  I'd have thought you'd be quite pleased to be rid of the "witch from Grenoble" as you called her. 

[ICEMANSAV]

* stick not stock, shows what I am meant to be doing today!

[netibiza]

Lay off acw I have absolutely no interest in arguing with you. That's all I have to say.

[AngusBell]

Artful take no cr@p come back:-)

[AB Editor]

Hi all,

Just so it is not unclear:

Site Rules: The role of The AnswerBank Editor is to maintain the quality of site content. It is not to get involved with any personal disputes between users. The AnswerBank Editor will remove any postings which do not adhere to the Terms of Use and/or Site Rules.

AB ED

But as a personal addendum: I think what would be interesting is a debate on why the Internet and especially anonymous forums such as this bring out the (shall we say) nastiness in individuals when no doubt, not a trace is visible in their normal, everyday lives. Maybe we should remember that our online pseudonyms are very much connected to our real selves and care should be taken to not offend, when we can manage it.  

[acw]

In "real life", ABE, as well as here, I will always stand up for people I feel are being bullied.  I will also stand up to bullies and tell them what I think of them.  I personally will also try never to patronise people or talk (or write) down to them as if I think they are stupid and incapable of understanding the behaviour of others.  I will also always be disappointed when bullies are allowed to win, either online, or off. 

Netibiza - By all means have the last word in this.  You started it - only fair you should end it. 

[mfewell]

Electronic communication raises interesting issues. People say things to complete strangers which they wouldn't dream of saying face to face. It is easy to insult unintentionally (as well as intentionally!). Nuances of speech are all but impossible to convey, emoticons, lol, all that lot don't work (for me anyway) and constitute electronic litter. What I am trying to do is get a memory for usernames, is this a girl of 21, or a man of 50, and so on. I thought the spat in question was one between young ladies and I'm afraid to admit that re-reading it in that perspective I find it amusing. At the time I'll bet the air was blue, like when my daughters argue ! (and are best of friends 10 mins later).

But, how many people have had a slightly sleepless night or felt genuinely hurt after a particularly aggressive electronic attack ?  Except in extremely rare cases we don't know each other from Adam.

[jno]

mfewell, the spat in question was between a young woman and an older one. It may be that the former is used to swearing at her friends and being sworn at in return; she's certainly still insisting that it was the only thing to do. (It wasn't.)  However, many older people find it offensive and upsetting. It was for that reason, I assume, that it is against the AB rules, which show a general preference for civilised discourse. The result is that the one who abided by the rules has left in disgust; the one who broke them is still here, repeating the offence.

[mfewell]

jno, thanks, less amusing then. By the way, do these two know each other in real life ?