Here Is A Poem I Wrote, Do You Like It?

[inamuddle1]

Neutron particals of lilac light person,
Scandalous energy,
Enchanted city,
engraved and critical kaleidoscope salvation
for a revolution of rhymes and medleys of discrimination.
Gravity,
proof
chamber of chaos
Orchestra orb
oracle origin.
A children's story and a day in the life.
A dream,
A forest,
a thousand nights.
Addictive acknowledgement with presence of mind,
a gift of natures navigators
Afternoon coffee bugs
Air locked ceremony of the sun.
Jade jewel of shimmering realm melodies
celebration,
sway,
crack open a bottle
de-javu,
Indian indigo summer.
The root of light,
sun, star, moon, initiate.
Fresh fruit distribution.
The future light of Neutron particals of lilac light,
The future calls the dawn.
Galaxy to Galaxy,
flying saucers sorcerer,
with a joystick for navigation,
bringing us back to decriminalisation.
Self modification with no complication,
Drop me of at NASA Station.

[RATTER15]

^^^ I think maybe you should consider them!

[Sparkles62]

Or maybe you've been invaded by a houseful of Durex bunnies. X

[inamuddle1]

Did you read the poem, it was a dream. I dream in colour. X

[DTCwordfan]

some of us aren't Boo - just delicate as I am tonight and thinking of retiring to the sack with this cold.

[craft1948]

Durex bunnies?

[inamuddle1]

Anyway, thanks very much. Yes Boo, i agree, art folk can be tetchy. I think it's passion in my that makes me this way. And I love it, I love writing, I have written since I was a child.

Highland life in the New Millennium

Who knows what the millennium will bring,
in our highland life,
i hope it brings us happiness and not a lot of strife.
The estimated bug,
or the normal human thug,
i'll be down the bank when it all goes wrong,
at the cash machine all night long.
It will be spitting out money for us to catch,
Millennium babies,
when nurses meet there match.
And Highland farmers can start new crops,
and Highland people can make new plots,
but i'll be doing the same old thing,
because i dont know what the millennium will bring.
It's just a new digit in my life,
Millennium champagne goes up in price,
Millennium cards,
Millennium food,
mmmm this new Millennium is sounding good.
So... I don't believe in the Millennium end,
if i did id go round the bend.
So Highland life wont change a lot,
or so I think,
a 17 year old thought.

[Sparkles62]

Sorry craft, Duracell.....slip of the tongue

[magsmay]

I think the OP does not deserve this hen pecking. Taking random sentences and creating something else with them is NOT plagiarism , just as an artist taking bits of other people paintings and making them into a collage to represent something else is not plagiarism either. The point of Art and poetry is to make you think -you may not like it but to read this poem you can create your own scenarios if you have an imagination. Frankly, I find what I call 'greeting card' poetry banal and childish. To the OP: your first poem is ok but watch your spelllings (last line should be off not of) second poem bin it -its the katie price of poems that one is lol!"

[magsmay]

inamuddle -you really must check your spelling!

[inamuddle1]

Im typing quickly, im not copy pasting any of this stuff. Thanks and good night x

[tonyav]

Good night inamuddle.

[EcclesCake]

It's probably down to my taste but I'm not feeling any more enamoured with your poems as you post more of your work.....

[magsmay]

Mmm they seem to be going from bad to worse -they sound like raps to me....

[inamuddle1]

To be fair, i dont think you would know creative writing if it hit you in the face. That is all. You guys have been horrible and not constructive at all. I'll find better places to share my words, you are unworthy!

[boxtops]

Each to their own, inamuddle - give me Robert Frost every time. Good luck with your work.

[EcclesCake]

inamuddle, you have a completely unbiased audience on AB. I'm sorry that so few have liked your writing but to call us unworthy is somewhat harsh.

You asked for opinions and got them. You shouldn't grumble that they weren't the opinions you were hoping for.

[magsmay]

well I posted that I thought your first poem was ok -you are obviously just as bad at reading as you are at writing.....

[DTCwordfan]

anybody got snag's form ready? I'm feeling a little too under to find it in the AB cellars....

[NoMercy]

Magsmay, you are bloody rude!

[grasscarp]

I had a poem published once in a locally published book of poetry
It was this:
He hasnt phoned yet
In the present uncertainty
Semi-convinced
It doesnt really matter
Until you catch yourself saying "Ring you bastard"
To a silent phone.