Here Is A Poem I Wrote, Do You Like It?

[inamuddle1]

Neutron particals of lilac light person,
Scandalous energy,
Enchanted city,
engraved and critical kaleidoscope salvation
for a revolution of rhymes and medleys of discrimination.
Gravity,
proof
chamber of chaos
Orchestra orb
oracle origin.
A children's story and a day in the life.
A dream,
A forest,
a thousand nights.
Addictive acknowledgement with presence of mind,
a gift of natures navigators
Afternoon coffee bugs
Air locked ceremony of the sun.
Jade jewel of shimmering realm melodies
celebration,
sway,
crack open a bottle
de-javu,
Indian indigo summer.
The root of light,
sun, star, moon, initiate.
Fresh fruit distribution.
The future light of Neutron particals of lilac light,
The future calls the dawn.
Galaxy to Galaxy,
flying saucers sorcerer,
with a joystick for navigation,
bringing us back to decriminalisation.
Self modification with no complication,
Drop me of at NASA Station.

[DTCwordfan]

Yes, more seriously, inamuddle, you need a tough skin to come on here and ABers will let you know what they like and don't and they can be pretty direct about it. Personally, I wouldn't take too much angst aboard but sometimes there are valid points to think about in the criticism. Much more traditional poetry and imagery tends to go down better than the ephemeral, disjointed, conceptual thoughts. However, even then, ABers enjoyed haikus when we had a run on those.

There are some that can't stand poetry, period; be thankful three of them are serving time at the Ed's expense as they would have likely chewed you up and then spat you out.

Watch your spelling and grammar in your verse, if you are going to write - however, we all make the occasional mistake.

[NoMercy]

Lmao, grasscarp !!

[DTCwordfan]

Nice one, carpy.....

[magsmay]

NoM wrote:

//Magsmay, you are bloody rude!//

you reckon? I was the one who posted that the original poem was not that bad and that people should stop hen pecking the OP - maybe you should read other posts before snapping at me!

[NoMercy]

You have been unpardonably rude on many threads, Magsmay, not just this one. You appear to thrive on contention.

Perhaps you could adopt a more constructive approach to your criticisms henceforth.

[Ann]

Very very weird - and sorry ............I don't like the tone of your poems at all. You did ask!

But you obviously think you are a very good poet (you said so) so I think you should learn some modesty both in yourself and in the poems you write.

[DTCwordfan]

okay, can I intervene and suggest a glass of wine for both of you before there is blood and guts all over our screens......

I wouldn't want to see either of you going to the suspension box.

[inamuddle1]

To Magsmay - I write better than you :)

[Iluvspikey]

I don't understand a word of it, nothing actually means anything, it's just strings of words

[inamuddle1]

Yes Grasscarp, I very much liked your poem. Its perfect!

[magsmay]

@NoM I don't know whats rattled your cage tonight my dear but I'm not rising to the bait. You make just one contribution to a thread of 85 answers and that contribution is to criticise another user -nice...

[grasscarp]

Thank you inamuddle. It was written from the heart. A man had taken my phone number but not yet called. There was only landlines then and I never called first!

[magsmay]

@inamuddle -lol! probably! I can just about manage 'there was a young lady from Ealing.....' keep doing what you're doing but learn to take criticism it will make you grow x

[NoMercy]

If you say so, Magsmay. I do think you could be more polite and respectful with your replies, though.

[inamuddle1]

No, your just rude. Now you contradict yourself. Go away. See if you can dream of pink bunnies tonight, you might learn something!!! I came here for advice, i got all I need from you. Haters will hate. Potatoes will potate!!!

[gness]

And Gness will open another bottle then have a lie down. x

[Tilly2]

Inamuddle1. You need to grow up. If you can't stand the heat...............

[grasscarp]

Haters will hate and potatoes will potate! Like it.