So lonely,what can I do ?

[tamaris]

I have no family , I am on my own. I have recently retired and and the days are so long. I spend so much time on my own I think I am going crazy some days. I have joined things, but every one seems to have their own lives. I dont come over as miserable as I keep cheerful in the company of others, but I get so down these days as my work was my life.

[jno]

mamya is right - by all means find things to fill the time; but actually, getting to enjoy your own company and not feel you should be doing anything else at all is also a good goal, though not necessarily a quick one. You've only just retired, and things do take time to adapt to.

[NOX]

Why don't you volunteer for the Samaritans Tamaris? That way you get the opportunity to speak and listen to people and at the same time help soemone whose really in need.

[Mamyalynne]

Tamaris the thing is , you have to go find these things they will not come to you, I wish you well and am sure there are local organisations near you crying out for help.

[woofgang]

then the counselling hasn't helped. It is supposed to support you to make the changes that you want to your life. Really honestly from what you have posted on here I think it would be worth trying a course of anti depressant meds.

[tamaris]

The doctor has put me on meds yes, I have to say I have always liked my own company and feel comfortable with it, but now there is too much of it

[Everhelpful]

I joined a Lawn Bowling Club,best thing I ever done.

[tenrec]

I do a lot of solitary walking, however, I always meet people along the way to have a bit of a chat with.

[craft1948]

Tamaris I had this problem as my job was a huge part of my life, not just the work itself but also the social side of things. I'm also constrained by medical problems.
My main hobby since I retired, is researching my family tree. I also tend to do certain things to keep busy, which I didn't have time for when I was working. I set time aside for pampering myself, like doing my nails, looking after my hair, and looking for bargains for clothing and shoes. I have friends round for lunch, and in turn I visit them.
I read a lot, do crosswords, and have taken up knitting again, and sometimes I bake for local church fetes etc. I do tend to steer clear of daytime TV which I consider dire.
There are days when I don't actually speak to anyone but this doesn't bother me one jot.
Also, if you can drive, get out and about to appreciate local geography and history. There's also nothing wrong with going to the theatre or cinema by yourself.

[Maydup]

What sort of work did you do before you retired tamaris?

[Laelia]

Hi tamaris,
where abouts are you by the way?

[karenmac60]

A few of the pensioners who come into my work do meals on wheels. It gives them a purpose and they are helping out people who are much worse off and lonely than themselves. It's a worthwhile cause and it keeps them busy as well as introducing them to others.

[boxtops]

Tamaris, if you loved your work so much, did you have to retire? I'm past retirement age but I can't imagine not working. See if you can find yourself a part-time job, see if that would help.

[Prudie]

Have you thought about putting a personal Ad in the paper 'looking for friends'. I think you'll find there's a lot of people feel in the same position as you.

[SueMoneyRowley]

Join your local U3A. Do a Google search to find the local branch.

[coccinelle]

If you like walking and you own a car you might be interested in geocaching. Google it if you don't know about it. They have meet ups now and again so it's a nice opportunity to meet up with people with the same hobby.

[Gavmacp]

Hi Tamaris,
I work with people that have a learning disability. I have always found it difficult to get advocates for our clients. These are people that ask questions for/on behalf of the client. Making sure that we are doing our job correctly.
They also need people to speak to them, work with them, take them out for even a short walk. It can be completely daunting at first but very rewarding. They also could do with a volunteer to do general gardening they always forget about that.

[joggybear]

I echo Nox, I used Samaritans once, years ago, when wanted to die, I just needed someone I didnt know to talk to. I obviously got down again, at the time, but didnt phone again, that one phone call helped me put things in perspective. I didnt want to take away the chance for someone else to get through.They do a brilliant job and you would be trained.

[Wak]

Drop into a local cafe every day and take your time with a drink.
You're soon bound to chat with another regular customer who could be in a similar position to yourself.

[Laelia]

tamaris,
how are you today? Did you find any ideas useful from the posts yesterday?

[tamaris]

Hi Laela and every one, thank you for asking.
I have made an appointment to see someone tomorrow about some volunteer work, they offer different things apparantly.