Change In Mood- Poor Sleep.

[tinkerbell23]

Those who know me will remember the terrible anxiety i used to suffer... And most recently depression..

I am the most unlikely person to have this...

Ive had all the usual helpless answers like "what have you got to be depressed about, snap out of it, you are pretending" etc etc

Ive done really really well ... Anxiety is much much better except from
The few nocturnal panic attacks which are increasing lately- the past three nights ive been having the most awful awful nightmares (this is new) and i cant sleep afterwards- even when i do sleep its been a nap thts resulted in a nightmare....

My mood is quite low - i dont take anything except beta blockers- finished antidepressants ages ago. Im teary and exhausted and feeling lonely.

I know i have a nice life i feel bad for feeling like this i cant help it. Im working away and life is good...

I have a friends wedding looming in a few wks... When it was her hen a while back i cried all day, i feel really self conscious especially when im with my friends... Theyre slim gorgeous -everything and im already dreading standing next to them all.... Mr Tinks isnt the most sympathetic. I mentioned it tonight how im dreading it, ive booked my makeup to be done to try to help..

He is more of a "if thats how you feel only you can fix it" type.... I know that aswell.

I dont have a question really i just fancied a chat.... Sometimes i dont want to burden those around me or come across as ungreatfull or a drag... Im a happy outgoing person really!!!! Xx

[pixie374]

Hi tinks xx I'm not sure you should have finished the antidepressants, the panic attacks show that. Have you been back to the GP? You have had quite a stressful time with the wedding etc I expect too xx

[woofgang]

Pixie is right tinks, go back to the doc. It might be that you need to stay on medication for the long haul....I know several people who are. Its like diabetes...if the body isn’t making enough of something it needs a supplement.

[Gavmacp]

Hello Tinks,
Sorry you are going through a rough time! My friend always goes on about looks and peoples sizes as important. But for me I like/love woman that have a bit of fun about them, make me laugh and are real. She knows I have an eye for woman and will point out ladies she thinks I would like but often don't.
Your obviously worried about upcoming event!
Sorry this sounds a little rambling!

[tinkerbell23]

Nice to see you Pixie!!!

I took them religiously for about 3/4months i think and i was "dependant" on them if you know what i mean? Thought about my next dose never missed it.... Then i felt better & got back to work & gradually came off of them. Didnt feel like i needed them! The panics didnt ever stop unfortunately... Just less and more so at night....

Waking up into a panic is horrible... Sometimes im in the place thats half asleep and half awake and im just shaking- or it feels like it but i think its adrenaline and my heart is going so fast!!

I took diazepam last night around 1am smallish dose. Managed 4hours sleep with an awful dream- im not starting taking all that though it was just a wee dose i had in the house.

Its been soooo long since i wanted to bubble
Over nothing... And i dont miss it!! Xx

[tinkerbell23]

Thank you. I might visit doc soon-

Unrelated possibly but i had coil removed (fed up of hormones etc) months ago. Had a period and the next one was due boxing day still no sign!! Mabye my bodys just messed up just now with hormones flying everywhere!!!!

Ill take what i have to take... Id feel a step backwards if i had to restart fluoxetine though...!!

I mabye wanted mr tinks to support me a bit but he isnt the sort he thinks im
Fishing for compliments and it really REALLY isnt like that!!

I always go get a blow dry and makeup for a big night or day and last time i was trying not to cry in the shop lol.... Its so silly xx

[Cloverjo]

Sorry I can't say any more to help than what's already been said. Definitely get back on the ADs.
Saying "what have you got to be depressed about?" is the most nonsensical thing ever. It's an illness. Take care.

[anneasquith]

Maybe time to restart the happy pills tink. 3/4 months is no time at all for this type of medication. We are so reluctant to treat our mental health don't you think ?

[pixie374]

Nice to see you too :-). 3/4 months is nowhere near long enough to retrain your mind and body to react differently. As woofgang says, they are long-term. They aren't addictive (diazepam is) and they treat the condition rather than the symptoms. I've had it too. I would really suggest a retry for a longer time xx

[Mamyalynne]

Agree with all above, saying you have a lovely life is not relevant to depression.

You may need more meds and/or some of the talking therapies.

[VHG]

Like you I suffer from depression, even though I have good health, a good marriage, a nice house that is paid for, an excellent pension, and lots of money in the bank.

But that does not stop me being depressed so don't apologise for it.

Things like this can often be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and drugs can put that imbalance back to "normal" so I would go and see the doctor.

After all there is no point in suffering if you don't have to.

I wont say "snap out of it" because I know it is hard to snap out of it.

But you say you will feel bad next to your friends so you need to concentrate on what is making you feel bad and try to work on it (are you overweight perhaps?).

A few years ago I knew a lady who modelled outsize clothes, she was a large lady, but made the most of it with nice clothes and hair and make up.

So make the most of what you got, treat yourself to a new outfit, and wow all your friends when you go the next event or to the wedding.

Good luck.

[david small]

Hormonal imbalance, HRT may help a lot. Your body's hormones are out of whack, see a decent doctor preferably a woman. One who is British. Its a cultural thing.

[Gavmacp]

Tinks,
So you know a bit of my back story so won't babble on.
Being seeing a hypnotherapist that I knew for just over a year now. Lots of talk therapy which he would say is unimportant but I would say it is about trust for me. I don't trust people and have spent most of my life hating myself. The weird thing is under hypnosis I felt this weird feeling of love (won't be breaking into song) which I have never felt before. Also weird sensation around throat and above heart (solar plexus I think it is called) chakra points? But not sure if I believe in them.
CBT was a waste of time for me.
Medication was just horrible!
Try alternative therapies before medication.
EFT worked well for me until I started digging around in my head.
There is also TFT.
Mindfulness is another option.

[tinkerbell23]

Ive never ever thought about restarting meds!! Ill definately give it some thought and see the doc midweek if i can.

Each and every one of your understanding has moved me To tears.... I really mean it when i say thank you! It helps to just have someone who "gets it"

Im of average size, size 12 but short! I have gained a few pounds since i got married and id like to get back to slimming world and the odd exercise class.... Being motivated to cook or exercise was tough - ive always stayed the same clothes size but im definately bigger and yes it annoys me!!

Bodys aside though even face wise i just feel worse off lol!!! Ill be going and ill make the most of it :0) xx

[pixie374]

I don't agree. Don't mess around with your mental health, it's much too important. If you want to try a talking therapy alongside, it's unlikely to do any harm, but this is an illness, not a fad or phase.

[pixie374]

That was to gav. Sorry x

[mrs.chappie]

Sorry I can't offer any helpful advice, Tinks, but would just like to say how fabulous you look in your pic avatar pic (I'm guessing it's you).

[Gavmacp]

Tinks,
Many years ago I went out with a real Norfolk dumpling she was size 16 but boy she was everything and not wishing to be rude we entertained each other many times a day! I have gone out with girls size 10-12 but no one compares to her!

[tinkerbell23]

Hiya gav!! Yes counselling worked for me originally...
When i was off work they offere me counselling and i wanted to go.. Just didnt "make it"... Couldnt really make myself if that makes sense!? Wish i had...

Got given a few websites and they felt long winded and again just felt like i couldnt be assd! (How ungreatfull does that sound)

You know im usually spiritual and like reiki and angels blabla... Stopped that because i lost my mojo! Even baking i stopped!

This year i said im going to go back to it all and i will try!!! Ive signed up for a few mindfullness apps and i do see local classes- its the getting my tail to go sometimes im so tired after working my shifts!! X

[tinkerbell23]

Pmsl i often say only dogs like bones Gav hahaha ive always had "junk" lol..

Thank you Mrs C yep that is me!!!

The meds did work i think im best with a combo of the two... And i dont want to go back to the way i was.... Im hoping this is a bad day or few days...

I was literally DRAGGING myself up and down the ward at work and i mean my feet were like 10 tonne of lead i had to count to three to get myself to stand up! Its not like that now thank christ xx

[Gavmacp]

Pixie,
I do rather agree! My story in a nutshell had anxiety for years found someone that did EFT which massively reduced anxiety. Wanted to explore alternative therapies but had issues. Found therapist who was very arrogant, I did ask him to progress with extreme caution he ignored this and introduced me to my pain which had a catastrophic effect on my mental health.
But using convential services such as GP and Mental Health Services have proved to me how blood.y useless they are.
If I didn't have a supportive wife I would be dead!