Anal Diazapan

[tamirra]

Ive been prescribed anal diazapan to relax me before intercourse due to past problems, do you think this is a good idea?

[ummmm]

Can't you bring someone with you?

[Bbbananas]

Did your GP or a physician refer you to this counsellor tamirra? Don't just pick one from the yellow pages. And you should be able to specify a female therapist - you don't have to go into any great detail with whoever makes your appointment, but you CAN insist on a female.

Don't be afraid to talk about it to a doctor, especially a female one. Unfortunately this sort of thing is not rare, and doctors are used to hearing such sad tales. Yours is exceptionally sad - you will find someone sympathetic.

[tamirra]

Im not sure if thats allowed, im just so worried if i turn up and its a man sitting there and not a lady, i think i will walk out.

[Bbbananas]

Ring beforehand and make sure it's a female. You don't have to tell them exactly why, but if it is a genuine psychosexual counselling service, they shouldn't wonder or be surprised at this request.

[tamirra]

God i feel so stupid im sitting here crying my eyes out, i have only male doctors at my surgery, and my doc has refered me.

[Sqad]

jno...your comments noted and will be acted upon.

This is a difficult problem, a combination of psychosexual and physical abnormalities and it is difficult to see, which predominates.

tamirra, you must start by trusting men again and then take it from there.

[ummmm]

Get your husband to ring and make sure it's a female.

[Bbbananas]

It's good that you were referred by your doc - that means it will be someone qualified and reputable. I was afraid you might have just got a name out of a directory or off the internet.

If you have a contact number, ask them if it will be a female counsellor and stress that it HAS to be or else you will likely not attend or talk. But, please be assured that a male counsellor can be just as understanding and helpful - they are all fully trained and experienced in problems such as yours. I think you're right though - a female would be better.

Don't cry :-(

[tamirra]

sallabananas its because i dont normally talk about it and it brings it back asthough it happened last week, thank you for listening im so grateful. x

[Sqad]

tamirra....there are more women in your situation than you might imagine.

You are not alone.

[tamirra]

Yes im sure there is but you never get to see them or be able to talk about your own experiences, maybe it would help if we could talk to someone in the same situation.

[Bbbananas]

You are so welcome tamirra - I have a bit of a reputation on here for joking and being a bit rude, but I do know when and how to be serious !

I work for a GP Practice, and know that psychosexual problems are not uncommmon and stories such as yours are, unfortunately, not rare either. But I know that ours, and most, GPs are very good at this sort of thing and any good doctor would not dismiss you - if they felt unable to deal with it, they should pass you on to someone who can.
You've been brave confronting your past and your fears - don't give up now. I'm sorry you've been upset, but happy you've gained something from telling us. Remember this may be an anonymous site - but there are an awful lot of sympathetic and caring people on here. I may not know you, but I will be thinking of you from now on - so please let us know how you get on.
Don't chicken out of this counselling lark - it's a good good start.
(Your hubby sounds lovely x)

[tamirra]

Thank you so much sallabananas i really do appreciate all your help and i will be ok im sure i will, i think i might ring them up and ask for a female as i know i will not be comfortable with a male. Thank you so very much. xxx

[Bbbananas]

And also, once you're there - ask them if they know of a support group that you can go to, to meet likeminded women and people who have gone through similar things. I'm sure you would find it excruciatingly embarrassing at first - but if you can pluck up the courage to go I am sure you will find it helpful.

Keep us updated xx

[tamirra]

Thank you i may just do that. xx

[Bbbananas]

Never mind "may" - DO !!!!!

[Slapshot]

When Mrs S and I met she was coming through a divorce friom a man who beat the living crap out of her regularly. it took a long long time (now married 20years) before she trusted me fully. I can't imagine what you're going through but could possibly see the issues from you hubbies perspective.

I'd suggest you need to get what sounds like a good bloke involved in helping you through this, go to the psychologists and drag him along, he can speak at times you find difficult and is there as a support mechanism for you. It's a new step to take and you need your man with you to take that step. You won't regret it and i truly hope you get the help you want

[tamirra]

I will definatly ask about a support group, and im not sure if i would want my husband there to listen what i went through, although he knows what happened i dont know if he would want to listen to it all again. x

[Bbbananas]

Maybe you could consider going on your own for the initial session, or the first few, and then involve your husband at a later stage? Maybe the counsellor will suggest this to you anyway, if she feels the timing is right... but just take each thing at a time.

Slapshot is right though - he must be taken into the equation and am sure he would like to help you as much as possible.

[tamirra]

Thank you for your support and will let you know how i get on when i do pluck up the courage to try the anal diazapem