Teacher's concerned about my son.

[april1693]

At my 9 yr old son's parent/teacher meeting recently, His teacher expressed concern over some of his behaviour. He is extremely bright, achieving above average marks in all subjects and is a very popular, sociable and well behaved child. However his teacher says that she has recently noticed among other trivial things that he sometimes "Looks awkward" when doing PE, and another teacher (who has taught him for a total of 5 hours in the last 4 months) commented on his "quirkiness" and his liking to do things at his own pace and in his own way. My son is very aware that this teacher appears to be scrutinising everything he does. He detests PE and even though I told the teacher that I personally have no concerns, she is insisting that he is referred to paediatrician to "rule out" any issues. I know a little about conditions such as aspergers and autism and I feel that my son in no way fits the criteria for either. It has really upset me that because my son doesn't appear (to her) to conform to a certain stereotype that she possibly wants him labelled with some condition or other. I suppose my question is, does anyone have any idea what, if anything could be wrong with him? To me he is an affectionate, intelligent little boy who has a more mature personality than his age would indicate. TIA

[welshlibranr]

sounds to me that he is bright and individual!............I wouldn't worry about him, he is different!..........but that's good!......he's an individual!............bright boy!........

[starone]

Isn't it individualists who make brillliant discoveries and inventions. He may be the one who will make the next leap forward - and not in P.E.!

[Chaffinch]

When my daughter was little, she was considered bright, but could not "SKIP" of "DANCE" like the other girls!!!!!!!!!!

Shes now 18 in her first year at Uni studying veterinary medicine.................... stuff em

[flobadob]

What is the Q?

[Scarlett]

Teachers tend to take their own subject too seriously- I think you can see this from all the responses! How can kids be interested in a subject when they're not interested in it? That's why I suggested you talk to his other teachers rather than the PE one.

[pastafreak]

We had problems similar to other's on here when lil pasta was in primary school. I can remember several teachers who literally did not know 'what to do with her'...she did not fit into the square hole. She was a reasonably good student,but was also very restless,easily distracted,and probably a bit bored. Only the headmistress understood her. But when she moved on-we then chose to move our daughter to a very small independent prep school where she then flourished. She also got one-to-one tutorials that resulted in a diagnosis of mild dyslexia. Because of this,she always found her studies a bit of a struggle-yet she also learned to persevere. She's now applying to do her Phd in Chemistry. I wish some of the negative,doubting Thomas's could see her now.

[Lore]

Did the teacher mention asperger's or autism? Maybe she's thinking dyspraxia. What has the school S.E.N.co said? Have any observations taken place?
It won't hurt to go ahead with the appointment. At least you'll have peace of mind.

[RATTER15]

This is my point Pasta, Ive doubted myself for many years, now that that I know I am just as cable as others, I have set my sights higher and looking at things very differently.
I just need to look at things and learn in a different style, I have already signed up for courses I didn't think I was capable of and I'm full of confidence for the fist time in many years, Dyslexia is not something wrong with the brain, dyslexics brain just work in a different way.
If I was diagnosed many years ago I wouldn't have to have gone through so much crap in my life.

[pastafreak]

That's brilliant to hear,Ratter. At least things like this ARE picked up sooner nowadays. A few generations ago,kids were seen as slow or lazy-when too often the opposite was true.
Good luck with your studies,and new found enthusiasm. ;-))

[LoftyLottie]

Pasta, my son has a form of dyslexia too which was diagnosed at his secondary school. He went through secondary school wearing super cool glasses with dark turquoise lenses for reading, etc. Bright children often develop lateral coping skills which really does mean they have great problem solving abilities and think quite differently from others which gives them great advantages.

Hi Ratter x

[april1693]

Wow folks - thank you all for taking the time to reply - It's really appreciated! My husband and I have discussed it and we've come to the conclusion that we will talk to our GP, if ony for reassurance. Honestly, I can't emphasise enough what a bright, co-ordinated, intelligent, sociable child he is, and our GP knows that. He fits none of the criteria for aspergers or autism and regarding dyspraxia, he met all his age related targets - crawling, walking speaking etc well within normal limits. His reading age is 11 yrs and 5 months and his creative writing and drawing are also of a high standard. I suppose what upset me most was the thought that I had maybe missed the signs of something myself and my son has since expressed that he feels he's being watched and quizzed more about his abilities by his teacher than before. I reassured him and told him that we'll call in with our doctor for a wee check up that will show what a good and clever boy he is, and how much we all love him. That seemed to please him for now! Thank you all again for your kindness in taking the time to respond !! April xx

[LoftyLottie]

You obviously have a very bright young man there Avril and very sensitive too. Some kids wouldn't even have noticed teachers being more watchful, etc. That is why I said that I would be very cautious about putting him tests etc. with paediatricians etc. It will do far more harm than good with a sensitive child and make him feel there is something wrong. This could have repercussions - believe me I have been there.

You are doing the right thing. I am sure he is just fine. I am not so sure about his teacher though!! I think she is the one with problems.

Take care.
x

[LoftyLottie]

To be honest, sometimes teachers can't deal with the bright children and quite honestly I have seen bright children treated with disdain by some teachers. Schools are OK for average kids, they are not the best places for those at either end, in my honest opinion - especially primary schools!!

[RATTER15]

April, whatever the outcome, at least you can say you got everything checked out.

Whilst he may display a few signs of different disorders it really doesn't mean anything until he displays many signs. I expect every one of us display some signs of some disorders, sometimes they are just characteristics of a disorder. One of the characteristics of Dyslexia is being unorganised and/or untidy, I'm sure there are few of us that fit that bill lol. Good luck ;-)

[xanthemitchell]

The only thing that stands out to me is your sons awkwardness during PE, Some children are naturally not very good in physical games but its possible the Teacher thinks he may be Dyspraxic, A condition affecting co-ordination.
I have two Autistic children has the Teacher actually mentioned Autism or Aspergers to you? Children with Aspergers are known as "High Functioning" which means they usually do excel academically but have problems with social interaction and take things said literally (ie when told to pull their socks up academically they will actually bend down and pull up their socks.)
You can go to www.nas,co.uk there is alot of information about the Autistic spectrum there which might help you.