I'm sorry to read what you're going through, Chinadog.
Just take it one day at a time, cry as much as you need to & don't feel guilty for doing so. It's like going through all the stages of grief the tears, anger, blame etc. It's a horrible experience & it's hard to see a way forward when your pain is so raw.
I was pretty much feeling the same at the start of the year,although I was the one who chose to end things, it still hurt like hell. One of the reasons being that I felt he didn't love me his mouth said he did, but his actions told a different story. When I walked away he let me, so I got my answer. but time really does help. Every week that passes I'm getting stronger, & you will too. One day we will meet that special someone who will love us for who we are.
It's good that you've got plenty of support & friends, family around you.
Thinking of you, Chinadog.