How do you decide?

[Jan1957]

Questions I hadn't even thought of until I was asked today. What do you want to do with the ashes afterwards? Hadn't even thought about it.

[welshlibranr]

Been there too Jan!when my Mum passed away.....very unsettling!......not sure what I said!.......probably nothing!........my OH sorted it, he took clothes to them, I couldn't!.....as to the ashes, I was just oblivious!....said 'don't know yet' and that was it!.........too soon to decide!.we eventually decided to bury them in a casket in my father's grave, but it took some time to come to terms!..........too many decisions too quick!.......very hard to cope with!............Bless you!........

[welshlibranr]

meant to add that I would not go see him now!....Far better to remember him as he was in healthier times!...........

[starone]

You need someone to be with you Jan. I was lucky, I had my daughter and as I kept crying, I certainly needed her. I am so sorry you have to go through all this. My husband's hobby was target shooting. I took all his favourite shooting clothes down and his shooting cap. You can scatter his ashes on the garden of remembrance or you can have them buried in a small plot. My husband wanted to be with his grandparents and so that is where he is. There is a place for me there by his side as I always was in life.
Gary was so young - life is not fair.

[welshlibranr]

Star, hard for you too, sure you can help Jan at present more than most of us, bless you!...........

[Jan1957]

Sorry, did not come back earlier. Have spent today having a think and decided a few things. As you say I need to take my time so I have decided to take the weekend to thinks everything through and then Monday let the undertakers know. Now just trying to choose music but that is so difficult. Just going do what I can when I can.

[chrissa1]

I've just seen your post and learnt about your very sad news. I went through the same sorrow in February of this year when my husband of 35 years died. My children were a tower of strength to me and we decided to scatter his ashes on a lovely sunny day on his favourite golf course overlooking the North Sea and Holy Island. He had been very happy there as a child.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Chrissa.

[tinkerbell23]

Its too early to decide jan. In time you will decide. There are many many nice things to do with ashes. Personally, my family still go to see our loved ones after they pass, but its a personal choice and nothings right or wrong. Much love to you Jan....really mean that xxxxxxxx

[boxtops]

Plenty of time, jan, to decide - you can have the ashes back in a discreet container until you find just the spot to scatter or bury them. It'll come to you when the time is right.