2 year old niece hitting people

[star57]

What should i do?every time she sees me she wants to hit me,so i always tell her i didn't do anything why are you hitting me or like right now i was talking to my mom and my niece came up to hit me,so i told my niece that i was just talking that i wasn't doing anything wrong then my mom started yelling at me saying i was immature that she's only 2 and I'm 25 so am i doing something wrong by letting her know that this beaver is wrong or should i just leave it alone?

[4getmenot]

No if my niece did it I would tell her off. I wouldnt say 'I havent done anything wrong' like you have, as that isnt teaching her she is doing something wrong by doing it, and I would not shout but sternly tell her she shouldnt hit people and its naughty

[crisgal]

skinner did some interesting experiments on rats.:

http://dakota.fmpdata...Files/OperantCond.pdf

basically she's doing it for attention. Even negative attention (getting told off) is better than none at all, in her eyes.
try completely ignoring it, and watch for her being nice (ie, not hitting) and give her a cuddle or a big smile and tell her something like: 'i like being with you, you are so kind!'
You have to watch for any good behaviour, however small and be ready with lots of praise.

[Sqad]

Problem would have been solved a generation ago......every time she hits you, then hit her back HARDER and then explain to her that this would be the chain of events for the future.

No one cannot do this now, so rely on the platitudinous. pseudo scientific answers that will surely follow.

[samak]

Well said Sqad. I think the OP will find that the niece learns amazingly quickly...

[johnk]

What does her mother do about this? It does sound like attention seeking.Tell her off anyway but also try and spend some time playing with her and her favoui toys.

[RATTER15]

Im with Crisgal on this one, there is no need to hit children, they can be taught without hitting, its almost certainly attention seeking.

[Sqad]

RATTER..we all agree on the cause.....but what is the treatment....in your opinion?

[RATTER15]

Sqad, well you knew I would respond didnt you :-)

A generation ago many children were smacked a lot more than now, that is because we are a civilised society! and we try and solve the issue without smacking, it cost nothing to try and find the root of the problem and sort it out without smacking, however smacking is a lot easier and it saves having to use the grey matter, just physically punish the 2 year old child until it stops without addressing the issue of why the child is behaving that way to start.

[Hopkirk]

Hit a two year old hard Sqad?

That borders on child abuse.

[Sqad]

RATTER..;)

" we try and solve the issue without smacking,"

How? in a 2year old?

[Hopkirk]

You are just reinforcing in the mind of a very young child that violence is acceptable.

[Sqad]

Hopkirk...yeah" we know all about "child abuse"................it means something different now to what it meant a generation ago.

I said in my original post that it was illegal today...that point ws conceded.

[LoftyLottie]

Sqad. You can talk to a two year old quite logically and they understand. A firm no and a stern look can do wonders. It starts at a much younger age and by two they know damn well what is naughty.

A hard smack to someone or something very much weaker or smaller than yourself is just not on in my opinion and teaches them that it is OK to smack in temper or when things don't go your way.

I have smacked a couple of times in temper more than as a punishment and I regret it. Smacks just don't work in my opinion.

[WELSHYORKIE]

Sqad, My 2 boys - 35 & 31, were both disciplined using a similar method to the one you suggested and are both well adjusted men, who know the difference between right and wrong, have never brought trouble to our door and have good manners. 3 lads down the street from us were brought up with this liberal idea of not smacking and have become junkies, thugs and downright Salad Chefs. I think know which method I prefer.

[RATTER15]

Sqad, that would greatly depend on the situation, the child and the root of the problem.

It worked on my 3 children, I never smacked them, they don't smack their children.

It just takes time to WORK with your child and that is the problem! so many parents would rather just smack them as they cant find the time to find another solution.!

How can that be wrong?

[Hopkirk]

I did smack my children on occasions and I regret it.

It was more to do with me losing control than teaching them a lesson.

[LoftyLottie]

Welsh, My son was brought up without smacking and is a fine young 28 year old, well mannered, good job, lovely partner, not a druggie and not a drunkard and, apart from the usual teenage 'attitude' years has caused us no problems whatsoever.

And hopefully his upbringing will teach him not to smack his own children.

[LoftyLottie]

Absolutely Hopkirk!!

I hate premeditated punishment and hard smacking is premeditated. If it comes naturally and you don't think about it then it is just temper in my opinion.

I bet you Welshy that a lot of the young thugs you see about were smacked very often and very hard. It's a way of life to them!!

[RATTER15]

Sqad, im guessing you have not had children?

[Sqad]

So Lofty AND Welshy have brought up children by diametrically opposed methods and both claim success.

What can we deduce from this?

Purley hypothetical i would assume as legislation has stopped Welshy's successful method.