Still confused!

[sarah-london]

Went out with this guy 2 years ago n we have started seeing one another again. We split for stupid reasons last time, none of which are present this time. Well....I say we've been seeing each other....it has only been a handful of times but I'm so utterly confused. We see each other, we chat loads, lots of kisses n cuddles. No sex (I make sure of it!) but that's it! I like this guy a lot but I'm not sure what he wants. I have stayed over a couple of nights and he loves it but that's it....he never follows it up. He says things like 'my mates love me nearly as much as you do' and he cooks me lovely food and is very attentive when I'm there. I just don't get it and am feeling disheartened. Any views guys? Why can't he just admit that he likes me? X

[jackthehat]

So, rather than ask him outright where you stand, you'd prefer to junk the entire (future) relationship?

He may feel that he *is* making all the right moves and noises and unless you talk to him, you'll never know!

[sarah-london]

Obviously not....I'd like a relationship eventually with this guy! I'd love to think that could happen but I'm not into kidding myself.

[ummmm]

Just ask him. In my experience you usually know though. It's apparent early on that it's exclusive, it doesn't need discussing.

[anneasquith]

do you want him to be your boyfriend ? do you love him ? do you communicate your feelings to each other ?

[sarah-london]

Yes I would like thing to go further with this guy but it is a case of once bitten twice shy here. Remember we have a history. He's planning a boys holiday so maybe there's a major hint there!

[boxtops]

I don't see that as a hint - men (and women) often keep up relationships with their mates when they hitch up with a new partner. I don't see why they shouldn't. Only doing things with one person for the rest of your life is a bit limiting.

[anneasquith]

re the past history, how long did you go out with him. ? did he hurt your feelings ?

[sarah-london]

I agree about the holiday thing....I would still go away with my friends. Difference is I know what their 'boys hols' entail if you know what I mean? I've reassured about my hol.....just in case he was getting any wrong ideas!

Last time we were only together 6 months but things developed very quickly and became quite involved. Guess I either gotta decide to roll with it n see how things progress (if at all) or push it (which could result in me scaring him off) Wow....what a lovely decision to make :0) Fook it!

[boxtops]

why the sweary bit at the end?

I think he's showing you attention, he's taking it slowly too - don't forget there are two of you remembering the past in this relationship.

[DTCwordfan]

Why not talk to him about it.

Find out how he feels - maybe he is also bitten twice shy and uncertain of your signals, doesn't want to upset the love apple cart and all that....choose your moment carefully.

[sarah-london]

Am swearing at myself outta frustration. I have no clue if I'm even gonna see him again, that's how up in the air things are. Plus he remains on a dating website.

[DTCwordfan]

that maybe just a contingency or a legacy of the past.....talk to him, phone him and set something up, say a nice meal....now! (not AB wallowing in it)

[IggyB]

I don't like to be mean but you sound quite high maintenance, if you were also the driving force behind your last split (or he thinks you were eg you acted out about his boys nights out or wanting to spend time with his friends), then I imagine he is also unlikely be sure what to make of this new relationship. It sounds like he is working hard but you are offering no reassurance to him... I think you need to look hard at your own behaviour here not just his

[woofgang]

It's simple....make your play or walk....

[ummmm]

Agree with Iggy. You're hard work...

[sarah-london]

Defo not hard work. It's my chilled out way that gets me into these situations!