Can i moan?

[tinkerbell23]

Please can i?

Im going to anyhow :0/

Have you ever been in a situ where not one of your friends are in the same boat as you?

Everyone has kids now (eek!!) or a partner. Not me!

Hoping when i begin work ill meet like minded folk- my best friend has no kids, but is moving a few miles away with her bf...soo happy for her, but ill miss her.

Everytime i go for lunch or even up for a glass of wine to a mates theres usuay a kid or 5... In the nicest possible way, i dont always want to be around kids so i do avoid it sometimes??

My facebook is plastered with photos of all the kids (very cute) and im now getting the speeches about how one day ill have all this and "be complete" grrrr

Thing is i dont know if i even want any because im scared i wouldnt be a good mum, or make my kids feel like my mum makes me feel (not good!) or worse !!

Mentioned this just as a chat to the parents- mum replies tht i have to get myself a bf, as i dont seem capable of that.

Wish she would credit me with the fact i devoted the past 3y to uni, ive done EVERYTHING possible to get a job- start september.....

Gave up my flat to move home due to uni despite the volatile relationship we have. ALOT has came up in my counselling regarding this.

Im afraid im not like her pals kids who are all marrying off. Sometimes it feels like i cant be me. Sorrry for the moan. I went and told all to my gran- we are as thick as theives!!! Love her- shes more like my mum!!! Had been confiding in an aunt, but its been gettin back to mother :0(

At least i had my car to go and stay elsewhere for last night xxx

Sorry again for moaning- its all i do on here! Somewhere to turn xx

[tinkerbell23]

Thank you so much!!!

Just home (horrible when you dont want to come home) - went a little drive with my friend and had a good chat and a wee cry.!

Have a bath run just letting it cool. Uh its just so difficult i wonder what ive ever done to deserve it all. Thanks for sharing your experiences too pizza!!you sound like a lovely lovely mum!!

I know im in the right and that ive done well. Its hard to shake off the past. Im resentfull. Blahhh xxx

[Ann]

//Have you ever been in a situ where not one of your friends are in the same boat as you? //
Frequently Tinks, all our friends have a lot more money than us LOL :)

[tinkerbell23]

Haha most of mine do too.... Soon, ill be te one with more dosh but nobody available to help me spend it ha xx

[sherrardk]

Give me your spare cash - I've got five sets of uniform to get (the shoes will kill me - will they last, are they broccoli, will boy #1 get beaten up for having rubbish shoes) - I so want to be you at the moment!

[nungate]

Tinks, are you sure you're not my daughter? You come across exactly like my daughter (you've spoken to her on here - queenofmean) a lot of her friends are all with partners/married/having children the whole nine yards and she's struggling to find herself a nice bf who'll treat her well - she seems to attract the kind who mess her around - You must be around the same age (24 maybe?) which in my opinion is too young to settle down anyway, you're both young get out there and make a good life/career for yourselves and to hell with anyone who tells you otherwise. I've never put any pressure on my daughter to conform to anything, as she was growing up, I still don't. She's still living at home because she can't afford to move out, and to be honest I enjoy having her around - we still have our arguments and so on but they're nothing major. I can't understand how your mum can undermine your confidence and treat you so badly, however my own mother always favoured my brother over me and I was there merely as a skivvy, who was only needed to deal with her "stuff" this carried on long after I married as well (I won't go into details about how things changed when my brother married either suffice to say I was treated like the daughter in law and mum was the mil from hell) After one final argument with her I stormed out and I didn't make any moves to get back in touch - quite the opposite, I'd realised I didn't need nor want her approval, I had a lovely husband and a wonderful daughter I needed nothing else! That realisation freed me from so much cr*p in my life and now I'm quite a happy little camper - my mum figured out that her blue eyed boy was in fact quite useless and she really needed me, more so in recent years as she now has dementia. So there Tinks, things will get better for you, just you work hard in your new job, you've achieved so much already don't let anyone put you down, when she goes off on a rant plug in your headphones and tune out to music or something and let it all wash over you. BTW I was almost 30 before I married, if I done it earlier I doubt we'd have reached a 5th anniversary.

[tinkerbell23]

Hahaha sherr ooh that sounds tricky!!!! <3

Nungate wht a lovely reply thank you so so much- yep im 25 ive spoken to your daughter here- you both come across so so well- its really hard to trust guys and find someone nice- id rather not be single but putting me down dosent help me!!!!!!! I hardly had time when aside from uni work i was working 55h a wk!!!

Sure its worth it now but i agree waaay to young to settle. Horrible to have these feelings but i have them and thats that!!!

Hopefully if the time ever came id be a
Good mum. The thought that i might not is very off putting :0(

Same with marriage- always wanted to! Big white wedding. Now...i think she would ruin it all for me so dont think i will now. Uurgh- deess shopping together! Or choosing baby names or in the delivery with me!? Aaargh no way!! Xxx

[nungate]

Well, if it's any help, QOM has already decided on names (don't ask!) any potential fathers will have no input whatsoever to hear her. I did go dress shopping with my mum - went into one shop found the dress end of story! I think she was glad to see me go - married on Saturday had my bedroom stripped and ready for redecoration by Monday! (true) There was no way I'd have allowed her into a labour ward with me - as it is she claims I have no idea what labour was as I had to have an epidural! The QueenBee (her upstairs) wants me there and not her partner, I for one won't mind as I won't be feeling any pain at all ;-) You just have to plough your own furrow and try not to be distracted. I posted a quote in a thread the other day it was: I am, what I am, your approval is not needed. It's quite a good little saying to keep in your mind when things get tough. Actually I've been thinking about embroidering onto something sometime soon - when I finish stitching a portrait of Charlie Chaplin that's currently doing my head in as I've miscounted somewhere and I can't find out where, hey ho that's my problem.
Like I said, you carry on sweetie, there are lots of people on here who admire what you've achieved and are all on your side, and we're always here when you need us. Feel free to moan whenever you feel the need.

[tinkerbell23]

Headwreck thank you !!!!

Always just been expected to have kids wedding etc- but now just not sure anymore.

Stressfull living situation but needs must.

I really wanted to enjoy a few wages and keep living at home. Always thought id meet someone and live with them....but looks like i might be on my ownio! X

[tinkerbell23]

Nungate i think i love you!!!! <3 honestly!

Ill get there i know i will!! I LOVE the quote think ill steal
It for a wee facebook status :0) xxxx

[tamborine]

awww tinx, am sorry you're having it bad. Drive that car down here for a break & explore the sarf.

[nungate]

Feel free to do that Tinks, I don't know where I picked it up, but I'm always gathering little sayings like that with a view to stitiching them onto something.
On the child front. I never ever wanted children at all until I got married, then it just hit me - wham, I wanted kids! It's possibly all down to the man I married, I wasn't nervous at all on the day as I was dead certain I'd found the right man for me, so having a baby seemed the right thing. So, out there is someone just right for both you and QOM and you'll find them sooner or later. Remember one thing though, while everyone loves their partner, it seems more important to actually like them and enjoy their company, I could settle quite happily on a desert island for the remainder of my life with just best beloved (daughter can visit occasionally)
as I really like being with him and just enjoy having him in my life - AND - if you tell him any of the aforementioned I will have to come and find you...... cue ominous music! ;-}

[tinkerbell23]

Yeah i am headwreck! Only and lonely child!!!! Lol!!

Thanks for the wise words!!!!!!!!

Aah tambo if i had petrol money i would!!! I have mates in bristol id love to visit soon- just need some dosh!!!!

Nungate thank you so so much!!! Really helps to chat it out! Me and QOM will totally get there one day!!!! Hopefully not too long away haha!!
If i can have what you have id be happy as larry!!!!! Xx

[nungate]

I have my fingers crossed for you Tinks.

[MarkRae]

> Aah tambo if i had petrol money i would!!!

How much do you need...?

[tinkerbell23]

Pmsl headwreck i thought so! Haa!! Me too nungate!

Tomorrows another day isnt it. Think im gettinh a coldsore. Doh. When i get wound up they erupt! In time for my photos on sunday :0( x

[tamborine]

Fill up the tank & forget ur purse, leave ur ID to pay later. U need a break & u can get me on fb