what would you do?

[cameliaheartfelt]

im livid, shaking with anger, want to cry, almost feel like passing out as feel so angry and want to act right away. we usually go away at xmas to our apartment in the sun. our inlaws stay at ours until we get there then rent elsewhere on the complex when we arrive as we only have one bedroom. last year a woman who lives out there found the inlaws an apartment above us and one across from us in the same block. father in law just rung to say that the woman has found them an apartment this year, the one next door. im fuming, just knew it. we have just come back from there and i nearly spoke to the woman and asked if she'd found anywhere for the inlaws yet and as much as we love them, joke joke, we dont want them next door! if only i had! i really want to phone this woman and tell her that next time not to put them next to us. we want to feel like we are on holiday. if i phone the woman though she might get upset and then phone the inlaws though father in law already had one heart attack 10 years ago. i dont think i can wait 11 weeks to then say something to this woman, its upsetting me so much. i can accept it this one time but its dawned on me that this could be every year in future. there is a high wall between us but its open at the top. i just dont think i will be able to relax, speak, move, be initimate if you will, they will be passing things over, across the balcony, icecream that was one thing last time when they were in another block, coming round for a jumper because it went chilly etc etc. i feel like i want to cancel the flights now or change them, get hubby to take me somewhere else but why should we plus they would have the apartment all the time then wouldnt they! i just dont get it how they dont get it. we are pretty close, dont see them too much but when we do they come and stay a night or two. we are off for a special birthday weekend next weekend so i dont want to upset them. i even thought should i ring them and tell them its too close for comfort.. what would you do or can be done? i know im not going to sleep until its resolved, ive got big work commitments for the next 3 weeks and cant afford issues, hubby thinks that maybe the woman on the complex thinks shes done the right thing. im going to sleep on it but i want action. the only thing that i can can think of is when we see woman on complex next year once inlaws come home etc, then mention it to her 'in passing' if possible but i just dont think i can last that long without saying anything. it is making me a wreck. i came off sleeping tablets and valium a while ago and upheavals arent good for me.

[cameliaheartfelt]

it's my husband's parents. they have to leave their chalet on a holiday park for a month in winter so have our holiday place for about 3 months and move out when we go for xmas as we have always done as bought it initially for us for that reason. they asked to use it after we had bought it.

[bednobs]

have to pretty much agree with all the others. if you don't like them, don't go on holiday with them. Simple. Your poor husband probably would like to spend some time with his parents (who seem a bit fragile if you think the dad will have another heart attack if you tell him). You don't have parents forever you know. I don't know how old you are (as you sound about 14 having a strop) but would it kill you just to be nice to them for a week?

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

I get where you're coming from. I wouldn't want to be parked next to my in-laws on holiday either. I doubt many people would.
Try to take a breath to think about it though. While you're stressed and upset, you may take the wrong path and regret it later. As someone said earlier, sleep on it, it'll be worth it.
The European family is very different to the British one and they love having the extended family close to them. I'm certain she thought she was doing you a favour. Perhaps you may have to resign yourself to it this year, but have a quiet word with the booking lady when you get there. I doubt she'll grass you up.
Ask around. You've not had great responses here I'm sad to say, but friends and colleagues may be able to offer something.
I hope you feel better tomorrow. It isn't the end of the world as others have said, but I can see why you feel the way you do.

[bundleone]

You sound as though you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, why not have a quiet christmas at home with your husband ( and children if you have any) It can be nice and cosy indoors with the fire on and just relaxing.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

I'm sorry there are not more people willing to offer help rather than make the OP feel even worse.
I'm sure I must be an alien or something.

[woofgang]

No mojo, you aren't. (an alien)The OP does seem to be going through a difficult time ATM and wanting some private time with her OH which I understand....the sort of creeping change of circs that is happening to her is very difficult to deal with and just makes you feel powerless.
In amongst the nastiness on here, she has had some sensible suggestions and I hope that these have helped.

[Ann]

Can you not ask the manager to change your apartment once you get there? There may be no vacancies at first but as soon as one family leaves ask her to let you move into the next vacant one. You can tell your in-laws that you moved as you had a huge problem with ants, or no hot water or some other exuse ........... simple!

[HowardKennitby]

Go somewhere else this Christmas.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

No Maidup I don't.
The OP didn't ask for your frustrations, they asked for an answer...on the Answerbank. It's not their fault you haven't had a holiday and they didn't ask you for an assessment on the worth of their question.
See my position?

[cameliaheartfelt]

Ok,I can't sleep never mind sleep on the problem,thanks for all your useful comments,I've decided that I'm going to ring the inlaws in the morning and tell them how I feel,bite the bullet.they are usually v understanding.I've got to do it asap,its making me a wreck,if I'm not happy with something I have to say on most occasions,depends who it is I admit.I told my bff that I may do it afta our celebratory weekend nxt week,she sed she thort I wud do it,she knows me well but not like tomorrow.I just can't cope with no privacy on holiday,listening out for the key in the door,comings n goings,conversations,not being able to be intimate,we r still in the early stages of marriage.It has to b done,tactfully if possible.I may change my mind if I do manage to fall asleep,just know if I do then wake up gonna dread b in awake.Any tactful advice if you can help me out here?Many of u I'm sure won't agree but I need my sanity,I could so easily stop functioning right now and the hubby and marriage is copping for it right now.

[cameliaheartfelt]

Can't help it,I fight for my happiness as had so much cr*p in the past to deal with,call me selfish maybe but that's how I am now.

[Mamyalynne]

Camelia if this is so important to you, then yes maybe something needs to be said - however it is only for a short while and all of us with families have to make concessions now and then.

I am Mum to two and Grandma to four, when we all go away there is little space for privacy, but the fun overshadows all of that, I hope you find a resolution to what is troubling you.

[Brinjal]

If you don't mind this time. Then I would wait until you see the lady and quietly tell her to book them somewhere a bit further away next time. If the booking is done there is little you can do now so ake a deep breath a couple of Valium and plan to enjoy your holiday. As they say don't sweat the small stuff. And basically it is all small stuff. Have a great holiday.

[cameliaheartfelt]

well, ive slept on it and am hovering whether i can or should do it now, typical. i cant win either way. i just dont want to offend or upset them but that leaves me very upset and worrying over something for a very long time!

[Sqad]

We have never been "clingy family" and there is NO WAY that we would go on holiday with the kids, the grandchildren and definitely not the in laws.

We live in the Med now and although the kids and grandchildren have been over to see us, they have NEVER stayed with us in the villa and never will.

You need your space and so do they.