grammatically correct?

[ilovemarkb]

Upon arrival to recovery observations were commenced immediately. Patient B presented with a core body temperature of 35.5⁰c

does this sentence make sense please????

[ilovemarkb]

ok thanks guys & gals?? you're all very helpful xx

[Tilly2]

There are two sentences which could be joined with an 'and'.
The first sentence would read better with a comma after 'recovery'. However factor is correct there is no 'subject' in this first sentence..

We assume that the observations were carried out on patient B.

'presented' is medical terminology.

It does make sense but it is badly written.

[factor-fiction]

The sentence is understandable and is the sort of thing I'd expect to see in medical notes. I'm assuming, however, that this is part of a written assignment you are submitting and grammar is one of the aspects that is being assessed.
Strictly speaking, a sentence has two parts: a subject (the patient or the observer) and a predicate (which includes the verb that describes what the subject is doing). The first sentence doesn't meet the requirements.

Whether it is acceptable, though, depends on the standards of grammar that your assessors expect. It probably is acceptable as it stands but rather than take a chance I would rewrite it into the form suggested by maggiebee (although I would use a capital R for Recovery).

I'm hoping tilly2 sees this a she is more in touch with the way English is taught nowadays

[factor-fiction]

Sorry tilly- I started typing the above 10 minutes ago but got distracted by Corrie

[Tilly2]

I'm sorry ,ILMB. I thought you had seen this written by someone else and you were looking for clarification.
I didn't realise that you had written it as part of an assignment otherwise I would have tried to be more helpful. You have had some excellent suggestions on this thread.

[jno]

Observations were begun immediately on arrival... or just as soon as Patient B arrived...

Patient B presented with... sounds like good doctorspeak to me. Medics have their own jargon, and that's fine, that's what jargon is for.

[slaney]

Sorry to be medically pedantic, factor, but I would go with Mark Rae's version or mine.
maggiebee's version has the sequence wrong. Observations were commenced, and these showed the temperature was 35.5 etc, not the other way round.

[LazyGun]

Slaneys or MarkRaes versions are the clearest and most correct, both grammatically and medically.

[factor-fiction]

I agree slaney- I did actually mean your answer rather than maggiebee's but when I typed it I mis-remembered who had typed it and put the wrong name.

[Cruciformist]

Bad form to start a sentence with a preposition. There should be a comma after "recovery". I suppose in this sentence "recovery" is a noun (recovery room?).
If so, "to" should be "at" or "in".
Pedantic? Me?

[ludwig]

I bet they don't have this problem in the mortuary dept.
Every report just reads 'The patient was dead when he arrived'.

[ilovemarkb]

oh thanks again, you're all so helpful. xx

[ilovemarkb]

LOL ludwig. I still have 3500 words to do!! maybe back for more help!!

[factor-fiction]

I actually prefer yours, slaney, to markrae's because I prefer the subject to appear much earlier in the sentence, but that is more a matter of style than grammar.

[LazyGun]

@ Ludwig - Every report reads 'The patient was dead when he arrived'.

So, around 50% wrong then? :)

[boxtops]

The patient presented as deceased.....

[Tilly2]

I bet you're really confused now!

[EDDIE51]

Yes, agree with baldric 3rd word just needs to be ' in' not 'to' the rest is fully understandable, 'recovery' is a place and a normal term in medical reports,
'presented' is also normal in this context.

[ilovemarkb]

thankyou xxx

[Anngel]

I would tend to give Recovery a capital letter to denote that it is the place, rather than the state of recovery. Upon Patient B's arrival in Recovery, observations were commenced immediately. They presented with .....seems the best way to say this in my humble opinion.