Ratter
I can only tell you what worked for me. I had promised and promised myself that I would get rid of the weight I had put on eating irregular meals in hotels and at business lunches. This didn't happen, so I decided to join a slimming club along with a friend.
My objective was to compete with myself, not with others. I do not subscribe to dramatic and sudden weight loss.
I did not follow their diets, but devised my own, based on the foods I like. The first things to go were chocolate and cheese, but there was no way I would give up bread and potatoes.
The only fruit I like is bananas and clementines, and hate lettuce with a vengeance. I love butter, but swapped to the easy spread type, low fat yogurts and bran instead of cereal.
I also was strict about mealtimes, and did not graze, except for an occasional biscuit.
I continued to fry food, as I always set the grill on fire when I used it, but used olive oil mixed with some low cal spray.
It took me a while to get used to being strict with myself, but I ate what I wanted but in smaller portions.
I did not obsess about what I was eating - the weekly meetings were a stimulus, and became a kind of an internal competition. They were quite funny, because when everyone else was relating how 'good' or 'bad' they had been, I was able to say truthfully that I had had roast beef, apple pie, ice cream, etc. I was quite unpopular with the group leader.
The weight simply dropped off, and one day, after I had lost 15 kilos in 4 months, I filled a suitcase with books weighing the same and carried it up the stairs. That was what I had been carrying with me before I started.
I did not do any extra exercise.
One other thing I did and that I found very helpful was to follow my own '20 minute' rule. I remember reading somewhere that it takes 20 minutes for the brain to recognise that the stomach is full. So I waited 20 minutes and mostly found that I didn't want anything more.
Is any of this helpful? Sorry if it's a bit disjointed.
Good luck.