Scared And Reluctant To Go To Church?

[PinkLavender]

My family are devoted Christians, but I struggle with it too much and don't want part in the religion. Of course, my parents give me no choice in this. Tomorrow they're supposed to be baptized. Me and my brother have to go whether we want to or not. The problem is, Churches scare me. I'm afraid that if I go to one I will get some sort of panic attack or just burst out crying in the middle of it all. I really don't want to go, but my parents are giving me absolutely not choice in the matter.

I also can't tell my parents about my feelings on Christianity, because I once told them I had no interest and they shrugged, telling me I still had no choice going to church or taking part in "church-related activities".

I have brought up that pressuring me into this might push me further away from the religion, but they still don't care.

Anyway, I am SO stressed out about tomorrow and already I cannot stop crying at the thought of going to church.

What do I do?

[Eve]

Lots of answers here on same question in case of cross posts:

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Society-and-Culture/Question1231858.html

[Tarser]

As a non believer, a church is just a building and can't harm you. It sounds more like a dread of the social situation - perhaps the embarrassment of it or feeling awkward. You could either take a stand and say 'You cannot force me into accepting your beliefs! I have my own mind thank you!' or you could just go along with it to please your parents and inwardly yawn.

If churches scare you, walk into a few on your own to get used to them. I'm a non-believer but I like churches. They have an peaceful atmosphere and when lit by candles, with a smell of incense and the sound of a choir, I'm more than okay with them! Good luck.

[RATTER15]

Im an Atheist and I love going into churches, they are just amazing buildings, just try and go along and put up with the silly ramblings, I also have to sit through this nonsense on occasions, apart from having to sit through listening to a load of nonsense sat on a very hard seat I have suffered little.

Im assuming you are still quite young and don't feel able to enforce your own wishes and opinions yet, the time will come!

[flicrat]

Dear Pink Lavemder, please don't be frightened of a church. It is a building that is all. You may feel a stranger if you have not been there before, but many churches are fascinating old buildings, so look around at the surroundings and ignore the other people.Probably others there may not be believers in God, believe it or not, but may like the singing or the comfort of the ritual.I expect the congregation will try to make you feel welcome, so just smile and go with the flow. Your parents will surely be feeling nervous - it is a big step, adult baptism -so you could concentrate on helping and supporting them. This will be too late to help you for today, but it may be of use in the future, as friends may want you to support them at church activities and there is no need to feel worried. Churchgoers are people! Many of them will have worries and they will find going to church helps this. It doesn't matter if you don't believe in God. There is a peace and a spirit there, coming from many years of worship, that is for everyone who comes with any problem to relax in and feel refreshed. Go for it! Love Flicrat

[boxtops]

I hope pink comes back, and tells us how she got on today.

[society]

Pink, I'd like to know how you got on today at church.
Did you went to church or did you hide yourself? :)
Or did you actually enjoy the fellowship?

[mibn2cweus]

It's not the building that should frighten you but rather the mindlessly irrational antics of those who willingly attend the services. Be afraid . . . be very afraid!

[flicrat]

Not a very helpful comment for a young person already worried,is it mib? She needn't get stressed up over what others are doing, just keep calm. Are you frightened of Christianity too? Relax - some of us are quite rational after all and very tolerant of those who like to sneer and mock.Live and let live?

[Answerprancer]

"Not a very helpful comment for a young person already worried,is it mib" - on the contrary, it may well be exactly what she needs to hear Flicrat.
AFAIC christianity (deliberate lower case c) is often extremely dogmatic and dictatorial. Christians (upper case only because it's the start of a sentence) are often psychologically manipulative.
I'm afraid the only advice that I can offer to PL is to put your foot down. You are an adult -albeit a young adult- but your belief or lack thereof is your OWN PERSONAL CHOICE, as is your sexual orientation, your career choice, your choice of group of friends etc etc. You need to find a way to let your parents down as gently and confidently as possible IMO, if they try to lay down the 'law', remind them of the fact that you are an individual with the right to freedom of choice.