I know a fair few women with older partners and with partners who've gone through hell in the past. It does not cause said partners to become violent, controlling or drunk. You may want to ask yourself why his ex was so cruel him and who it is that says she was.
I have a relative (now in her 70s) who married a man like this. She went through 30 years of misery before she decided to quit. Her eldest son, one of the gentlest people I know, witnessed much of the guy's treatment of her and indeed came in for some of it himself. He now has serious mental health issues. His younger brother seems to be modelling himself in their father's mould, has managed to alienate his adult kids because of his behaviour and now finds himself single again (and drunk) because his wife has had enough.
I would also point out that the relative also loved her partner very much. Why not? He was handsome, intelligent and perfectly-mannered to everyone outside their marriage and she travelled half-way round the world to be with him. It wasn't until she finally got out of the relationship that she was able to analyse her love for him and conclude that it was not love but fear. Fear of displeasing him and fear of a life without him.