Friends Being Strange

[Skids]

Ok so me and my husband had a couple who we did everything with! We even went in holiday together with our little families! Recently we went to Disney Paris and had a great time! When we came back our friends started being a bit distant and we realised that they were getting on really well with their neighbours so we decided to leave them for a bit to get to know them! We decided we were going to set up a couple of our mutual friends on a date and went out clubbing with them. On the Sunday we had a message on Facebook saying where was our invite from our friends. We didn't think anything of it but I think we upset them. Recently my best friends sister had a baby early and it's dying so I've been messaging her with love and support and hoping everything was ok but not getting a response. She phoned me on fri asking if we could have her 3 children for the wkend so they could go and be with her sister. We have 2 children of our own and had plans all wkend however we said we could have them all day sat and could drop them off to whoever could take over but as we had plans we couldn't have them to stay over! The next day my husbands mate deleted us both off of Facebook and is not responding to any messages! What have we done wrong I don't understand. Can anyone help? I feel really upset and so is my hubby!

[grasscarp]

On the Sunday we had a message on Facebook saying where was our invite from our friends.
How did they know about what you had done? Did you post it on facebook?

[B00]

Yes but nagging them to confirm whether their still friends with them or not aint gonna help ClaryS.

Opinions were asked for, and mine was to leave them alone, give them breathing space.

[cazzz1975]

im sorry clarys but I disagree, whilst its a sad time, if you break friends with someone because they couldnt drop everything and come running at a moments notice then that is not a proper friendship

[Mamyalynne]

I used those words sqad because the OP did - it can be phrased however they choose.

[society]

Yes Cazzy, absolutely, and I agree with you and Boo.

[pixie373]

I agree with mamya- one card to say you're thinking of them, sorry if they feel let down and you are there if they need you. Let them know you're looking forward to hearing from them and leave it at that. They are having a hard time and i presume any family is also involved with the sick baby too. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.

[Skids]

Thank you everyone these people are very important to us so I'm going to carry on messaging them and telling them we are here for them and hope in time whatever it is they think we have done can be sorted out!

[ummmm]

In all honesty, Skids, if I had taken umbrage with someone their continuing to message me would annoy me even more.

They have important stuff going on in their lives. Leave them alone for a bit.

[Skids]

Sorry i meant that I'm going to give them time but still make sure they know I'm here for them

[Purple_Popple]

Hi skids...sit back and take time out from this. . Have you really been there for them when they have needed you? True friends would always be there no matter what and it's a two way thing. . If you help a good friend and they can't reciprocate then they are no friend. Hope you sorrt this out one way or the other.

[joko]

i think the answer here is very dependent on what exactly you refused to postpone or rearrange.

we cannot tell you what we think without all facts

it may seem like it doesn't matter, but if you had a night at the bingo or something instead of taking their kids then i would imagine the advice given will be different.
clearly it was something you felt you absolutely could not rearrange - and they clearly feel that you should have ..
do they know why you didnt cancel?

[boxtops]

send the card, skids, then leave it. Stop messaging them, they'll know you are there if it's important to them. Frankly, just at the moment, I suspect that the family tragedy is far more important to them than friends who keep badgering them for reassurance. One card, then leave it. If they don't get in touch, then so be it. It's their call.