Getting Happy And Staying Happy?

[flobadob]

Is the a point or general age in most people's lives were they become happy and contented with their life and what they have, even if it wasn't what they planned, or is it very different for different individuals?

[mazie]

I think it's very different from day to day, some days, I'm really happy and other days I wake up in a Grump. Generally speaking I don't have much to moan about, I would rather thank my luck stars that I'm still here and enjoy it.

[boxtops]

It's different for everyone. We all have different outlooks on life anyway, some might attain everything they wanted earlier in life but it doesn't mean they'd be happy later. I'm not sure there is ever a point where one doesn't have ambition to improve one's lot, even in small ways.

[woofgang]

I don't think so and I think its really easy to lose happiness again.

[askyourgran]

I guess it's different for everyone flobadob, maybe some could say when you retire and finally get around to spend time on a hobby or having more time with your wife and family, going on holiday. On the other hand it could be a nightmare for some. MrAsk is under my feet now and in the wintertime when he isn't bowling. We are hopefully moving to a bungalow soon which needs a bit of work, but I hope we can settle into a better routine then.

[rsvp]

Oh, am going to sound odd here but I can honestly say I've been happy for most of my life -obviously there have been happier times (and sadder ones ) bu I've never been aware of 'becoming happy and content' - always seem to have just been that.

[ummmm]

I think some people just accept the status quo and live a pretty miserable life in comparison to others.

You have to be happy to start with and then you know what happiness feels like. If you've never experienced true happiness you don't know what you're missing so don't strive for it.

[woofgang]

we were just at the stage of starting to enjoy retirement when my DH died. that kind of puts the tin hat on happiness.

[boxtops]

I guess too, ummm, we are back to the Glass Half Full/Glass Half Empty syndrome. I'm a Full person, generally.

[mazie]

Aww woof, that's hard. I was talking to a lady today, she's very lost and lacking in confidence since her husband passed. She doesn't drive, doesn't use or know how to use a computer and feels her life has no useful purpose.. She's forever tired and drained. I spent some time with her and really wanted to give her a massive hug but she looked so scared of actually getting close to anyone, let alone a stranger like me :o(

[ummmm]

I'm half full but I've had a good life, lovely parents, lovely family, great friends, beautiful children that make me proud.

I always think that upbringing has so much to do with peoples out look on life and how they deal with it. We have no control over life, it's all about how you're taught to deal with it.

[askyourgran]

That is sad woof.

We have just plodded along, happy in our own way. I imagine being happy and at peace is probably short-lived with someone new, and then it becomes just a normal existence after a while.

[ummmm]

Woof....sorry :-(

[mazie]

Absolutely agree ummmm, same here. Makes me feel blessed that I have had, and still have so much love around me....

[gness]

Oh it has to be different, Flob.....partly our nature and partly what life throws at us....then how we deal with both.

I had a childhood with a mother who hated me.....my husband died weeks after he was given the all clear from a long illness....medical negligence...just as we were about to enjoy life again.

My dearest friend died a few weeks later.....but I am really happy....I have no bitterness in me and I would be letting them both down if I spent the rest of my life being unhappy.....

I think I do make my own happiness.....perhaps because I have great people in my life.....and I don't let in anyone who is going to hurt me again.....x

[woofgang]

Thank you folks. I didn't say it for sympathy. flobadob asked about the point at which you feel happy and content. I would just want to say don't wait. Don't wait to "become" happy. I know its a cliche but enjoy and treasure what you have now.
mazie the last thing I wanted when I lost DH was to be hugged and comforted. I know you meant well and I think that your instinct not to hug was the right one.

[mazie]

I felt that woof... we said enough and left it at that....I'm not one for sympathy myself.

[ummmm]

Can I ask a personal question, Woof?

How long ago was it?

[woofgang]

3 years.

[mazie]

That's the thing woof, we come on here and talk about stuff and realise we are not alone in what ever we go through. This lady has no computer, no car, no way of communicating, all her 4 children live miles away...I wanted so much to say "come on let me show you how". When I left she blew me a kiss and I can't stop thinking about her :o(

[Old_Geezer]

If you're happy & content then you've either won the lottery or have lost the ability to understand what's going on. Maybe no bad thing either way.