You'll never be fine Jenny but you will get better.I along with a lot of people on AB have reached out in the depths , not only of utter despair but times likes this...the 'firsts'. They're tough...it's almost like you have to say you lost your husband last year now..it's not quite so current but of course it is.We do understand.We all lose parents and loved ones but to lose a life partner must be particularly tough as you don't share the same intimacy , hopes and dreams with anyone else. I do understand to a degree...truly.My heart goes out to you and i'm quite shocked that you lost your husband a few weeks backs and didnt get the response and support others would get for burning their spuds for example...it's fickle.You must chat and interact, talk to us, it does help to talk to strangers, we can help by just being here to scream at, help and just keep you company in general.Take care, it's a sad , lonely time but you're not alone as you came on here ans so long as you chat in CB you won't go wrong xxx