Lost

[rarll]

37 year old male, Happily married with 2 great children,not a bad job (I get plenty of time off). No major worries. Why do I feel so lost and , dare I say it, incomplete. I just don't feel that I am fulfilling my full potential, but I don't know what that is supposed to be. Any help please. 

[jodie1404]

mayb there is sumthing u have always wanted 2 do career wise or to travel, or maybe u just want some excitement in your life! im sure you will find out soon enough your stil quite young lol

[El D]

You have set yourself up for the bible bashers there mate - I would suggest that as you do not really know what you want from life, you cannot aim for it. Set goals for yourself or decide what you really want from life - how can you feel happy if you do not know what you want from life?

Secondly, I would suggest that perhaps there is improper balance in your life. Relationship check, kids check, job check? social life? hobbies? interests? X check?

Keep balance in all things and the wheel of life turns smoothly :)

[woofgang]

sounds like a mid life crisis to me. You aren't on your own, loads of men and women experience the same thing. First thing to say is don't do anything rash or hasty, it won't help

Have you talked to your wife about it? She might be feeling the same way too. There are loads of things that you can do together. Do you have any unfulfilled wishes or dreams that you could start to plan for?

[lowrie333]

Hi rarll, I know exactly how you feel.  I am in exactly the same position, which isn't made any easier by work being unstable with redundancies in the offing.  I feel as though i really want to do something that will make a difference but don't know exactly what.  I am just hoping that something will jump out at me. 

[vespaboy]

Hello rarll

I think it is 'mid life crisis'  my advise would be to get yopurself a hobby that you used to have when younger.

This will alleviate your anxieties about ageing and use up some of your time.

As said before dont do anything rash, thiink about your family.

[rampart]

I hope I am not "Bible bashing" but I would suggest going to church.

Also, I believe some of fulfillment in life comes from good virtues (good character), not wealth, fame, looks, and great deeds. Sometimes you can feel most fulfilled doing the simplest things.

[simsfreq]

I know exactly how you feel, incomplete, lost, a lot of the time just completely bored, you have everything you want so why do you feel so depressed? ... and I'm only 17. I know I have something to look forward to, uni is the only thing that's really motivating me to do anything at the moment. I can sort of see what you're getting at...just one question to you: you say you have "not a bad job (I get plenty of time off)" ... you don't say you enjoy what you do though. I know you probably won't listen or care about my opinion since I am so young but maybe you should get some counselling, at the very least talk to your wife about how you're feeling. Or take some time out and arrange a complete surprise for the kids, do something for somebody else and not yourself and see what a difference it can make

[Englishbird]

It may not help you, but it helps me to know that there are other people that feel the same.  I am not married, do not have children and don't like my job, and I always thought if I had these things, everything would be ok..... but obviously not.

I think it is part of the human condition and the way our society is, busy going nowhere.  There are some good answers above - look for a 'hobby', this sounds a little flipant, but you could find something that makes your life more fullfilled.  rock climbing? music? Something that includes the whole family would be ideal as at this stage, your family becomes a little vunerable as you try to find more purpose to your life, if you can take them along for the ride it will make you all stronger.  Good luck, and if nothing else, you're not alone.x

[Slinkye]

It sounds like you have achieved your goals and now you need a new challenge. Many people would love to be in your shoes... happily married, 2 great children, job, no major worries. Well done!!!!

You have mastered the great skills in life and yet your life seems incomplete. Maybe you should consider teaching other men (pass on those great skills) less fortunate than yourself, that may bring you a great feeling of fulfillment.

The gift of helping others, always fulfills me.

[MadlySane]

I'm 39 and I know how you feel. I agree with Slinkye, consider helping others in some way, that will make you feel good about the world and help you appreciate all the things you already have in your life.

I have just bought a guitar. I started learning at school 30 years ago then the teacher left. It was one of the things I always thought I'd get round to doing.....do you have a little list of things like that?

I think a new hobby or learning a new skill, anything to occupy you will hopefully sort things out. I'm hoping it will for me too! Best of luck my friend :)

[rarll]

Thank you all very much for your thoughts, you have been a great help.

Cheers again