Worried About My Son

[nailit]

My sons mum kicked him out a few weeks ago and since then hes basically been sofa surfing. He comes mine for a bath, change of clothes and something to eat and sometimes a bed for the night. He has no job and claims no benefits so everyone else is keeping him. We had a row this morning because he had no clean clothes to wear (theyr still in the washing basket) and I told him that hes got to start to take at least SOME responsibility for himself, I provide him with food and money when I have any spare. Hes in court on Tuesday so will HAVE to find some way to pay his fines.
I know that tough love may be required with him but I think that hes suffering from depression (not helped by the weed he smokes with his mates) and he didn't have an easy time living with his mum (not wanting to go into details here). He left mine this morning with me telling him not to come back until his attitude changes but I know that he WILL come back and I'll relent again. Hes my only child and I cant stand the thought of him walking the streets at night when he has a bed at mine. Maybe Im just letting of a bit of steam here but I don't know what to do for the best...

[mallyh]

nailit why doesn't he get any benefits?

[SherryBea]

nailit I agree his input is as valid as anyone else's. My remark wa aimed at his comment at 14.58

[nailit]

Got to leave this thread now as my time on the library computer is up.
Ill be back on broadband on Friday and then ill never be off here lol. Thank you to all for suggestions and support, very much appreciated guys. I can pick up any further replies tomorrow.
Thanks again guys.

[pixie374]

Good luck, nailit xx

[nailit]

Got a minute left...
Sherry, sorry about your brother, so sad.
Mally, he wont sign on because he keeps getting sanctioned.

[andy-hughes]

SherryBea - //andy will you please just take your batteries out -this is not the andy hughes show its now getting tedious and you are spoiling nailit's thread. /

At the time of writing, I have posted five posts, you have posted eight, so if anyone is turning it into their 'show' it is not I.

As Naiilit says, I am entitled to my input, and with experience of the situation, as opposed to just an opinion and a chip about other people posting, maybe I am the more valuable contributor of the two of us - I am not 'spoiling' anything.

[mallyh]

SherryBea how awful for your family, my boy has tried once but I got him to hospital in time xx

[Peter Pedant]

is this the one who has given your address
and the address for bail ?

not sure about this one

[ladybirder]

Nailit please please do not turn him away. At least provide him with a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in at night. It is going to be so cold tonight and goodness knows what further trouble he could get into in desperation. If something awful happened to him you would never forgive yourself. I have been in your shoes and took the tough stance being suggested by many on here. It is by far and away the biggest regret of my life.

[anneasquith]

That's sad lb. :-(

[ladybirder]

Yes Anne, more than I can say.
Because the tough stance works for one it does not mean it will work for another.

[murraymints]

a difficult situation..nailit has been through hell himself in recent years and has fought and struggled to get where he is now..he simply cannot allow his son to drag him back into a dark place....whilst I would not advocate letting him walk the streets neither can nailit continue to support and abet his son's wayward life style...I would withdraw financial help completely, which is not withdrawing nurture and nourishment, but let him take financial responsibility 100 % ...I would also insist on certain standards of respect around the house..for Nailit as a father and for his home..as well as observing reasonable standards of hygeine...if he cannot pay fines subsequent to court then I would tend to agree a few weeks of enforced discipline from HMP might do a power of good..at least he will be picked up by Social works department who may offer case worker and appropriate help.
I admire Nailit tremendously for his fortitude and for managing to remain a decent chap inspite of the challenges he has faced..

[andy-hughes]

Errrrr - and you are reported again for abuse.

I suggest you walk away and take a few deep breaths.

[murraymints]

Errrrr...please take a step back or ED might condemn you to the naughty step..we are all entitled to an opinion..even if we choose not to agree ! :0) x

[Errrrrr]

Yeah so I am entitled to an opinion