I'm Broken Hearted

[mallyh]

after son doing so well somethings happened (he can't handle things life throws at us)looks like he is using again ,he says no but he is always broke and asking for money ,starting to look unkempt.i had to tell him after so many chances we can't do it anymore and he is on his own .20 years of looking out for him is enough ,oh and I need to start enjoying our lives .so why do I feel so utterly sick .

[Mamyalynne]

Because in your mind you have failed as Mother - I know you won't believe me but you haven't.

[Eleena]

Ahh Mally. After all your support, you deserve now to think of yourselves for a change x

[mallyh]

after 5 months clean and enjoying life I really thought he could be on the way to normal life .

[queenofmean]

Because Mally...deep down he is your son and you can't help but worry or care about him.

I am sorry that you feel like this - I hope he gets some help though. We are here to listen though.

Hugs xx

[ummmm]

You've done your job as a parent. He's made his bad choices. You deserve to have a life free from stress.

I doubt that'll happen...you clearly love him too much x

[mallyh]

he was in rehab aftercare and ran off when they wanted to test him .

[naomi24]

Because you're a mum, and regardless of what he's done, you love him and you always will. That's what mums do. Be kind to yourself. x

[Eleena]

Mally, we can't keep giving chances to repeated disappointment, we all get tired in the end & so much of our life is taken up in the struggle.

[andy-hughes]

I am so sorry to read this.

The parental instincts that compel us to teach our children to be independent adults, sadly carry on when that is what they become, and they damage themselves, and we can't help them.

Know that you have done what you can, and your son is an adult and living his own life, and much as it hurts you, you can't save him from his demons.

[Eleena]

It's upsetting to see them fall back yet again I know x

[mallyh]

i'm just sitting here bawling my eyes out ,hubby said it had to come from me (to tell him he is on his own )as i'm the one that always gave in to him.hubby is broken too ,I've never seen him so down .

[mazie]

I'm so sorry Mally. It's been such a hard year or so for you and just when something seemed to be going "right". Doesn't matter how old they are, we still see them as the little children we cared for and loved so deeply. I do hope it's not the case that he's turned back. Sending hugs xxx

[anneasquith]

5 months, how delighted you all must have been, I'm so so sorry to hear you're latest news, do not reproach you're self.

[mazie]

I don't think, as a Mother you can help doing that Anne. Is he living with you Mally?

[Eleena]

Mally, I think it's finally coming to terms with the realisation that things aren't ever going to change, that no matter what, it's too hard to do, even for the people who love him, hope leaves x

[naomi24]

mallyh, if you weren't a good mum, you wouldn't feel as you do. I feel for you. x

[anneasquith]

I know mazie. :-(

[mallyh]

no mazie he is away where his rehab was ,I just don't see much future for him .when he was away before I just waited for the police to knock .I know he isn't the person I know ,a friendly kind clever

[mallyh]

Eleena it sounds like you have been through this ,how are we to cope .

[Eleena]

Mally, not drugs. My brother is an alcoholic. My sympathy has turned to anger in the last year at what he's put his our family and his ex wife/ children through for many years. He turned up at my mum's at weekend slurring his words,I walked away. At turned 80 my mum & brother ( he has medical problems of his own) ... both don't need that. What they deserve is peace to live the rest of their years out I finally came to the conclusion he will never change, he's caused a great deal of sadness. I can't bare to be in his company any more, I walked away.