I Dont Feel Suicidal But My Behaviour Is

[nailit]

conscious/subconscious?
I havnt eaten for two days, just don't want to.
I'm drinking, yes, But cant afford to. Up to my eyes in debdt and probably getting worse.
I don't feel like I want to die, just cant see the point in living, its all a bit ***.
I know that I'll wake up in the morning and wonder what the hell have I been posting on social media and then the cycle starts again....
???
Why are peoples realities all so different?

[nailit]

I don't want a number for Samaritans either, thanks!

[Islay]

You are able to control this - you have stopped drinking before so do it again.
Look at what you have written sober.
Everyone makes their own realities!

[Mamyalynne]

Realities are different because people are differemt.

^ That's a useless thing I've typed but I really can't think of anything else I can say.

[sapelesam]

Nailit, you've got friends here, keep posting, we all need to share sometimes.

[Buenchico]

If the mental health services people can't 'work you out', Nailit, I doubt that we'll be able to.

This self-assessment tool for clinical depression might be relevant though:
https://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depression.aspx

However not being bothered about eating for days, while possibly drinking a bit too much, wondering "what it's all about" and trying to ignore money problems probably isn't that abnormal. It seems to describe much of my own life rather well!

[nailit]

/You are able to control this - you have stopped drinking before so do it again.//
Islay, with all respect, I cant stop drinking any more than you could stop eating...its the same thing. You turned to food, I turned to drink. You got a practical solution to ur problem, I get sweet nothing. Sick of asking my doctor for help.

[Tilly2]

I don't think our realities are so different. It's the circumstances that are different.

You seem to be in a mess at the moment. You've been in a mess before but have managed to overcome that. What worked last time?

[Islay]

Its entirely different I can't stop eating as I need it to live but you don't need booze to live.
I am leaving this post before you start insulting me again!
I'm not in the mood for a pity party!!!

[Baldric]

You need to toughen up, you're own worst enemy at the moment, decide what you want to achieve and go for it, you can do it.

[Islay]

Oh and for information - I paid for my treatment and it wasn't cheap!

[nailit]

//What worked last time?//
Pills mainly Tills, until they started to affect my body, side affects inc headaches, nausea, eyesight etc

[nailit]

''Its entirely different I can't stop eating as I need it to live but you don't need booze to live''

[tamborine]

Realities differ but death is a constant for all....for some death defeats debt!

Your son relys on your example so fight your demons for him. Good luck.

[nailit]

''Its entirely different I can't stop eating as I need it to live but you don't need booze to live''

You completely fail to see the anology.

[Barmaid]

Bpd is actually quite a difficult thing to treat and manage. You might try asking on a forum with people who have a greater understanding. Fact is your reality is different.

http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forums/

[david small]

You need a complete change of environment. Your clever enough. Think of some scenarios that will change your routine drastically. I.e. charity walk to John O Groats. Bike around coastal England. Get off your harris. You like to help others, apply that brain of yours. You are cleverer than very many people, use the thing that’s both a curse and a gift to you, your mind. Do it.

[Samuraisan]

Come on Nailit. Make a few decisions about your life, make some plans, whatever you can to make your life better bit by bit and follow through. Plan some nice meals, even if just for yourself, nutrition is very important, invite some people around to enjoy a meal with you, if you can, if not, just for yourself. Don't have any booze in the house, when you crave it, have a plan ready , whatever works for you, go out, have a cup of tea, go running, something. And get your life on track again, everyday you feel like this is wasted, you only have one life, and it is not very long. I read your posts and you seem a very intelligent, articulate, interesting man don't waste that. Good luck and keep us updated.

[Arksided]

I've being knocking on deaths door all week, the ***'s don't want me! yet! but I have had a cold all week. Sorry not much advise, but find a goal and go for it. You do come across as a decent fella on here all the best to you.

[nailit]

Jesus Christ,
I'm so lucky to have friends etc
but just so stuck. Got Email friends, AB friends, Actual friends etc but always stuck in thus mindset....try to be 'normal' but cant carry on forever...

[Samuraisan]

Of course you can Nailit. Don't try to think so deeply into everything, just live your life the most enjoyable way you can. Reading your various posts, I think you do delve too deeply at times. Lighten up !