Jealousy?

[pinkiefriend]

What could be the reason for Jealousy? Not just the kind with a partner but when it causes problems with friends, partners and work friends? Just out of interest, how would you suggest fixing it?

[GraceAnais]

jealousy; possibly one of the most evil and unexplainable emotions. jealousy in a relationship is part and parcel, but between friends and work friends it is so hard. when people are jealous of you i think there is absolutley nothing one can do, apart from accept it and rise above it. In the work force it is extremely rife, and dangerous. i once left a job because it got so bad. can i ask what the reason is for your question and what jealousy you've encountered?

[pinkiefriend]

No, it's just that I think I have a problem. I think the best way to sort these problems are to first realise then fix it.

The only thing is that I have realised. I find it hard to relax and have a laugh. I find it hard to do silly things for fun. In work I hate it when people are doing better than me or have more responsibility than me. I know it's a bad way to be but I just dont know how to change. I have also split with my boyfriend becaause of these reasons and now I just want to make my life better. Any Ideas?

[GraceAnais]

no matter how beautiful you are, someone will always be be better looking, and someone will always be worse looking. some people will always do better at work, some will always do worse. we all have different qualities. so what one person lacks in one area they make up for in another. therefore when ever someone has more than you you have to remember this. i find that people are often jealous of me as 'on paper' i have a lot of good things going for me...but people don't realise all the other stuff going on that's not so good. although some of my friends are prettier than me and some are cleverer, i know deep down that the only person i want to be is me. ask yourself would you ever actually swap places with any of these people you're jealous of? there's probably lots of bad stuff in their life going on you don't realise. rather than focus on what others have that you don't and get jealous; why don't you focus your energies on how you can attain these things for yourself? hope this helps.

[joko]

I read a book called 'erroneous zones' once - its about how useless emotions like guilt and worry and jealousy eat away at you and how pointless they are because in themsleves they don't change anything - you can worry till the cows come home but nothing will have changes so you have just wasted your time.

I found it amazingly helpful - i only get envious in a nice way now - say if my friend looks stunning, i wish i did do but I am happy for her and don't feel the need to compete. I only get jealous when some one has something I haven't bevcause they have stolen it from me or gone out of their way to keep me down.

you are doing the right thing trying to sort this out sooner rather than later, because there is nothing more repugnant than a so-called friend who tries to destroy your happiness because they are jealous - i am happy when my friends are doing well and happy