I'm sorry to bother you

[rabbiesburnt]

I can't leave my room at university.People are really friendly, but I just don't trust anyone. I know I should try a doctor, but in the past, they've only prescribed me anti depressants - The pills don't agree with me and make me more wound up. I can't help it. I'm drinking far too much now to cope. I am seeing a counsellor, but I've got the paranoid feeling it's a placebo effect...I can't help it.

I know it's not a question for a site like this, but I don't know where else to turn.

Life really is getting too hard - I can only cope because of my parents on the end of a phone. But I can't tell them. It's just too much.

sorry

[rabbiesburnt]

...and I'm sorry if I don't respond to any answers. But I know what I'm like. :) Nothing meant.

[littlemissx]

firstly get yourself back to your GP... explain to him how you are feeling and how the tablets are not helping you. explain that you are drinking too much. the first step to recovery is knowing this and you obviously are aware of this.

ask to be referred to a DAT (drug and alcohol Team). your parents dont need to know if you dont want them to but is there someone you can trust that maybe you can confide in?? a class lecturer maybe???

[woofgang]

first of all if you can stand it from a stranger ((hugs))

You really are ill you know, so ill that you can't tell well from ill. You miust tell someone how bad you really feel, can you tell the counsellor? if not, what about samaritans? Did you tell the doc that the pills weren't agreeing or did you just stop taking them? Some take a while to have an effect. Keep talking to us, we are here for you but can't do anything, you have to go to a real person for that.

[jno]

are there student counsellors? Unis often have them in one form or another.

[{Dakota}]

rabbies, I saw the other thread in CB and that you have Jo on MSN. Would you consider asking her to pass on your addy to me? I have been going through similar and would like to be able to help you. xxx

[Drusilla]

I know you don't like the idea of anti depressants, but there are a number of different groups of anti depressants, including SSRI's, Tricyclics and MAO inhibitors. All these have numerous examples within their type. I had to try at least three different drugs before I found one that helped. My side effects ranged from nightmares to a 'bugs under the skin sensation', but eventually my doctors managed to find the correct drug for me. I also found psychodynamic therapy helped me, while friends swear by cognitive therapy. Whatever you decide, step 1 is definitely a return to the doctor.

[rabbiesburnt]

Thank you all for your help. I've been away from my studies for a few years because my dad was ill and it's been difficult coming back. I'm in the performing arts - not the best career path it would seem, but it's only when I am doing this that I'm truly happy. It's the bits inbetween that is the problem. Things just don't seem as important.

I don't like taking medication, never have. My GP has been so supportive but his wife is ill and getting appointments is impossible, so I get passed on to another one and they don't seem to have much time to help.

BTW, I should have added that the night porter realised I was struggling to come back and told everyone in my flat (18 flatmates) that I have a phobia meeting people and to treat me nicely...

They have always been great, but that really has knocked the feet from me. He asked how I was getting on, I said I was starting to feel a bit happier and he told me that. I hope they are more intelligent than to listen to him, but....a lot of them are younger, and I couldn't blame them for thinking I'm some kind of nutter.

Anyway I'm going home for a few days to catch up with friends and family - So hopefully that will give me a bit of a boost to come back and sort him out. I come from a working class background and feel ashamed for needing help. People used to just have to get on with things...

{Dakota} thank you, I will be away from a computer or at least not have much time to come onto AB or MSN for the next days or so. So please don't think I don't want to chat to you. Just ask her who likes nudging too much. Thank you.

[blue eyes ;)]

hello rabbiesburnt,i know how you feel really i do....life is getting too hard for me too.i cant sleep and have an awful feeling of nervous belly as sson as i get up till when i go to bed.life does really feel un bearable.i have been prescibed anti depressents but feel these will not help me.i just feel so depressed...it doesnt matter that people tell me to look to the future cos at the moment there is no future.its strange,i have a good job and have just got my first mortgage and i feel selfish being like this but feel out of control.i cannot eat and am losing weight rapidly and i know i will end up in hospital soon but i dont feel i can help myself anymore.i cry till there are no tears left.i have my mum to talk to and although she is very supportive it seems i only carry on for her sake......i didnt want to write all this on here either but like you i do not know which way to turn,feel very sad :(

[jno]

guys, you're ill. It's clearly not just a matter of feeling down in the dumps; you sound clinically depressed to me, though I'm no expert. This can be treated, and there's more than one way of going about it, but please please go back to your doctors.

[qapmoc]

Hi all, real depression is not a simple thing and can cause physical changes in your brain. This requires correct treatment and anti-depressant drugs are a valid and nessesary part of that, but be aware that many of these anti-depressants are not like aspirin or something with instant results but can take a long time to have any real effect, up to 6-8 weeks sometimes, so if you start taking them and it feels like they are not working DON'T stop them until you have given them time to work and discussed it with your doctor.

[Slooow_Jo]

rabbies & blue eyes sorry to be so blunt.....but you NEED medication......If you had an infection, wouldn't you go to your GP for antibiotics ???

DO NOT feel embrassed or ashamed, It happens to more people than you realise..!!

I had depression, but believed I'd snap out of it...nearly to my cost..!!

I finally seen my GP who gave me anti-depressants, I was one of the lucky ones, right tablets first time..

I only had to take them for 6 months, in that time I was amazed how many people I knew,who was or had been taking them also, but I never knew..

Good luck to both x Remember talking is good x

[Calvesy]

Hi, Rabbiesburnt

I was struck down by a depression in my late teens that caused me to drop out of two university courses. I don't know what caused it, and didn't even know what it was at the time, so I didn't seek help.

It is difficult to know what you want to do with life, especially at this age when you really should be enjoying it the most. All I can say from my own experience is that I have never had a relapse this last twenty years because I do enough exercise to make me hungry and tired, then I eat and sleep well. This gives me the energy to do jobs, studies and hobbies that I feel passionate about. Try going out for a long walk in the leafy drizzle today.

And don't get too carried away or drunk when things are going well for you.

Nobody's got all the answers. Good Luck. Be Well.

[Englishbird]

I agree with all of the above, I too dropped out at 17 due to depression and anxiety ... if only i knew then what I know now.

Rabbies and blue eyes. It is perfectly sensible to take anti-depressants, they are not a cure, they just lift you enough to be able to see things properly - then you have to work at increasing your self esteem.

Remember that EVERYONE has their own anxieties, their own fears, their own feelings of inadequacy. The person in the room next to you right now could be suffering just as much as you.

How about joining a club at college or locally, maybe something like Tai Chi, or Tai Kwon Do, or netball/running/sailing, whatever takes your fancy, but something physical which will get the endorphins going and get you mingling, but for a reason. I'm much more confident when i have something to focus on rather than just making general conversation. If there is one person you can confide in, do so, if there isn't - don't ever feel awkward about posting here or on other websites, the beauty of them is that you're anonymous.

Good luck peeps, it does get better you know. I know it doesn't feel like it will, but it will x x

[Eels]

I went through this when at Uni, although bizarrely I coped OK until about 4th year when I hit the deck. I went to the doctor one day for a repeat prescritpion of the pill and found myself snivelling and snottering about how sad I felt all the time. Anyway, I felt a bit loopy having just blurted all this out and, bless his heart, my fifty-something male GP (who at the time I didn't know well at all) was wonderful.

He told me I was ill (the explanation helps) - he gave it a name (know what you're facing), and he told me he was going to help me fix it (you CAN fix it - with help, and time!). I was fortunate that the meds helped somewhat, and a year later I came off them and have never looked back. He was immensely supportive, particularly when I was in the sometimes isolated environment of Uni.

I cannot overemphasise the importance of phoning your health centre and outlining your feelings to a receptionist. It is their job to help you out, and by explaining your feelings they may well make you an appointment with a doctor who will be open to your feelings. You aren't the first to feel this way, you won't be the last. And when the mist clears you will slowly feel alive again. Don't think the black dog rules your life - plenty people just retrain it and manage just fine!

[tellboy]

Yes it is depression. Got the Tee Shirt !
Depression just happens to even the most confident outgoing people. Don't say Sorry.
No need to apologise to anyone. If you had a broken leg you would not apologise to everyone.
If you have a good doctor and how you feel is not how you normally are then tell him/her.