Care Homes

[jennyjoan]

My sister and I have just visited a friend who was put into a home after spending 6 weeks in hospita but only in the care facility about 3 days.. She does have some dementia but both my sister and myself think she is not bad for this one.

Next to my friend was a woman I knew very well, but she was constantly crying - to me - just looked very frightened. Kept saying "don't know don't" etc. She was a bartender and her husband was also a lovely man. Do think she may have 6 children.

I asked where her husband was - I don't know but one of the nurses was saying he too is in the above ward. She kept saying she wanted to go home as per my friend.

The nurses have said the family come in very regularly and bring the husband and wife together. This lady was so vivacious, industrious - it has upset me pretty much.

Also the home you know just seems so barren - like nothing to stimulate.

Is this it - put you in a chair and you have to stare at a TV. The ladies in question I personally think that if it had been possible - they would have been happy with care in their own home.

The bartender clung on to me and ask permission to do so which of course was not a problem.

God I wish a cure could be found for the Dementia.

[hereIam]

It's horrid isn't it jj. Breaks my heart and none of us know if we'll get it or not. Poor souls.

[Mamyalynne]

I have no great experience and of course care varies wildly but many homes do provide entertainment and activities, obviously they can't do that every hour.

If you felt the surroundings barren and uninteresting perhaps some locals could group together to help cheer the place up?

With their permission of course.

[pansypotter]

I remember years ago I visited my nan in hospital every day, I had noticed a lady in a wheelchair looking out the window, I never saw her having visitors, after a couple of days I asked my nan why is she always sitting there and my nan said that the nurses get the lady out of bed in the mornings put her in a wheelchair in front of the window. So I went over to the lady and asked if she was ok looking out the window, she told me know she hated it and felt shut off from the ward. So I turned her wheelchair so she could see what was going on around her. I did this everytime I visited my nan.

[jennyjoan]

well - I'll be a better visitor cos I know my friend and the other lady got some sorta comfort from me particularly they knew me. The other lady clenched my hand and wanted to walk up and down the corridor which we did.

I'd like to do some charitable work as I left my last voluntary job several years ago and was always looking for something. Maybe this is it.

[Mamyalynne]

You brightened their day, a friendly face and a new voice to listen to.

[pansypotter]

jennyjoan, this may interest you
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/archive/community-befriender/
I used to volunteer with them now Ive reached the age where I need someone to visit me.

[david small]

I used to work occasionally at nursing homes. Many a time I saw poor souls propped up in chairs dozing the whole day away, then put to bed. No stimulation, no conversation, not that some of them could respond.
Too sad to look at. What to do? Euthanasia? Suicide?
Personally I would prefer to go on my own terms and not to slowly wither on the bough. Some trees die from the top downwards. So do some poor souls.

[EDDIE51]

Not 'Politically correct' ! but to me a lot of the problem is that due to medical advances people live so much longer now !
20 years ago, a person would retire at 65 and have 5 or so years until they passed away from 'Natural Causes' . No time for 'Dementia' to develop . Now you retire at 65 and can easily have another 20 / 30 years or more ! I am 70 myself next year . My Grandparents lived into their mid 90s .

[jennyjoan]

well back to home to see friend - and on a second glance - things appear to be a little better.

friend recognised me right away and pointed out her hairdresser of the day (nurse) and was happy at that.

then friend said about another friend we both had - picture this - a barbie doll - - so I'm looking for barbie doll - friend said - she's beside you. this barbie doll spoke to me about two years ago in a mall - no signs of anything but there she was - - I of course tried to engage in lots of conversation.

The other lady keeps crying for husband who is in a coma above (in a ward) her. The bartender lady - crying for the hubby. I do know from today's experience - the carers are doing their best. that'll do for me.

[Mamyalynne]

That is some comfort JJ.x

[jennyjoan]

it's a great comfort Mamy - and then to know about 4 of the "main" ones in the recreation room has made me a little determined to visit more.