Bone Cancer

[nailit]

My mum had a routine app today at oncology, for a preview for chemo.
She has now got to go back tomorrow for a 'review' as she has been experiencing pain in breathing before commencing any kind of chemo.
Has difficulty breathing and pain in shoulder area etc. Was told that cancer could have spread quiet quickly. I know that its terminal, my heads f**** with it all.
Don't think that she knows how ill she is.
Any advice, previous experiences or just medical imput etc?
Thank you.

[Mamyalynne]

I have experience but the only advice I can offer is to take each step along the way as it comes (I know you don't have much choice in that) and ask as many questions that you need to.

Request help with anything and everything, be honest with Mum.

It's hell, I know.

[nailit]

I lost my Dad 19 yrs ago. Yes, I was upset and cried etc, but theres just something about losing ur mum that's different. You always think that ur mum is always going to be there somehow.
Its all so feckin drawn out as well...im finding it difficult!
Could be days, months or even a bloody year or so. Its the not knowing! Im cracking!

[Mamyalynne]

See what the review says tomorrow, you'll hold together.

[237SJ]

I`ve been exactly where you are and the not knowing can drive you mad. She might have some of the disease in her ribs and has cracked one - that would give pain on breathing. The speculation kills you. It might be a good thing that she doesn't know how ill she is though..

[Calicogirl]

Oh Nailit, I'm so sorry :(
My mother's father outlived every expectation they had of him by years and in the end didn't die of cancer, yet my lovely friend died in his 30's earlier this month having supposedly had a successful outcome to his cancer treatment, it is indeed the not knowing that is so awful.
I can't be much help other than to say how sorry I am and that I am always here if you want a chat. Stay steady fella x

[Patsy33]

It is a very emotionally, draining time for you and the family, at the moment, Nailit. As hard as it is, you will get through this. Try and stay as strong as you can, for your lovely Mum.x

[nailit]

Thanks all.
For Funks Sake, cant stop crying and yet she could have another year or two left. Its the not knowing and also *THE* knowing that whichever way you look at it the cancer is going to kill her.

[david small]

Been where you are nails. My dad passed quite unexpectedly at 54. The shock was such that mom never really got over it. I watched her fade away physically, and mentally for fifteen years. She would appear to be mending, then relapse. Mental hospital, normal hospital, Anorexia, depression, a long and fearful time.
She wanted to go but didn’t want to leave my sisters for their sake.when she passed at 66 her pain was over. I cried for my father, but, my mother was released from her misery. You are stressed with this appalling uncertainty, I commiserate with you nails. Show her your love, and tell her how much. I took little, but some comfort in the the words, THIS TOO WILL PASS.

[nailit]

Thanks Dave, apricate it.

[Tilly2]

Nails, you can't crack up. Your mum needs you to be strong for her. Hold on. x

[237SJ]

I always say with cancer "Expect the unexpected" You can never tell how things are going to pan out. I found this site really good and they have a forum for different types of metastasis - there is a bone forum.https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxNm21PLr4QIVRfhRCh2ZVQSwEAAYASAAEgJo1PD_BwE

[nailit]

//Nails, you can't crack up. Your mum needs you to be strong for her. Hold on. x //
Doing my best Tills,,,,

[237SJ]

https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/

[nailit]

thanks 237, will have a look...

[pixie374]

I think, as many says, ask as many questions as you need to. It is the "not knowing" that is hardest. I can only suggest you "expect the worse and hope for the best".
Whatever they say at the review, find out what the next steps are and whether there is anything in particular that might help. A very difficult time for you... will be thinking of you xx

[pixie374]

Mamya... sorry x

[tinkerbell23]

Hi!!

Let us know how tomorrow goes!

Has mum got any support or anyone visiting- nurses etc? Xx

[Purist]

I am going through this at the moment, My dad has terminal stomach cancer and a recurrence of bladder cancer, I don't know how long he has got but I fear he won't make the summer, he had the flu recently and it all but wiped him out, he lost a lot of weight and is slowly recovering from it. My advice is to prepare for the worst and spend as much time with your mum as you can.