My mums been to the hospital today to discuss the inns and outs of starting her chemo next week.
Out of the blue she said that she wasn't going to have it and was just going to try and enjoy what time she has left without being 'poisoned' with chemicals that could potentially make her ill just for the sake of a few extra months.
We all just assumed that she would have given it a go at least, but we all respect her choice.
But what has surprised me is that they haven't given her (or me and my sisters) any indication of how long she may have left with us? Would have assumed that they would have SOME idea??
They do not have an idea about time. Only 'average survival time '! These vary so much they are not normaly quoted ! I had a relative who had terminal cancer , we were told she had a month at most. In the end she went on for another 3 years !
A mate's mum has terminal cancer, she asked doctor how long without the surgery? Doctor could only give ball-park figure, 12 months? 6 months? Who knows?
was his reply.
Thank you all for quick replies, makes a bit more sense now. Don't think that she would ask how much time she has left because she's frightened.
Since the radio therapy she's had a bit of relief but has days where she's vomiting, got diarrhoea, dizzynes and headaches. Other days she has managed to get out of the house for a few hours and go for a meal or bit of shopping.
Its all a bit of a strain.
Eddie...these "average survival times" are not for terminal cancer, but give a term e.g average 5 year survival............this not being the case here.
if you ask the Drs, they will give you a survival time based on their experience of such cases.......they are Drs not soothsayers.
I always felt that someone close to the patient should always know the "state of affairs" even though nobody had asked.
I think it is very brave and intelligent of your mother to assess the situation in her own mind and turn down treatment whatever it be....I would hope in similar circumstances,I would do the same.
I admire her.
I think it varies from patient to patient. When they discovered that my dad had esophageal cancer, they told us that they could probably give him 5 years with chemo.. but he was dead within 2 weeks of the diagnosis. He never even got the opportunity to start the treatment.
It's difficult to judge. Some are expected to go soon and stay with us for months; others expected to be around a while but then go downhill rapidly. Any estimation would have very wide range of actual values.