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Missed Period

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ilovechocolate | 06:03 Sun 14th Jul 2019 | Body & Soul
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Hi Everyone, I am concerned regarding my missed period. I am 21 and 13 days late. I know this because I track my periods every month and I am usually on time. This morning I took a pregnancy test which showed negative. Based on when I last ovulated I think I should be around 4 weeks pregnant. I have sore nipples and have had cramping in my lower abdomen.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? Any ideas?
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I'm probably doing the same now... but yes, I have been in your position and if I were you, I would wait and do another test. I wouldn't see a GP unless you believe there is a genuine problem. At the moment, your symptoms could be either premenstrual or early pregnancy, but time will make it clearer. In B&S, I don't think anything is particularly personal as it is...
10:49 Sun 14th Jul 2019
Maggie, as a female I’d say you DO have experience in this field !
It's not just an open forum. It's a Q&A site.
maggie.....no problem there....but try and relate answers to the OP and make them helpful......"which see your GP" doesn't.

"Sqad - he who must be obeyed"....not a particularly adult reply.
It seems a very reasonable assumption to make: You are not on the Pill and observing the prescription for its use but you are having intercourse. You also did not take the Morning After pill as soon as you missed your period or even before that. Women basically have complete control over their fertility, men do not. Relying on the man either using a condom or having had a vasectomy is not good enough unless in the latter case where you know for certain he is infertile, such as when in a very close long term relationship.

If you have taken none of the above steps but are still having sex then you are deliberately courting pregnancy - yes, you are deliberately becoming pregnant. You would then be joining an unknown percentage of the female population, some of whom are very brazen in this practice, no ifs or buts.

If you have simply been foolish or ignorant then my sympathy is with you, to a certain limited degree (this is not the ignorant middle ages) - monitor the situation and decide now whether you want to keep a child if you turn out to be pregnant. If you turn out to be pregnant and you decide to keep the child then without delay tell the assumed unfortunate father. If you are not pregnant, either give up sex or go on the pill and take it religiously as prescribed, use the morning after pill if you are unsure what your fertility is like.

As with the #metoo doctrine, you should never risk becoming pregnant until you have a clear "Yes" from your partner in the act to his being entirely ready to father your child. Without a Yes you are indulging in a form of rape - yes, as the only one who is in control of your fertility it is down to you (at the very least morally, and arguably even if he also is), including if you are married. The common attitude that the male is responsible for his actions is not good enough, so is the woman. The antiquated "Poor darling girl, disgusting cad who deserves to be shackled" attitude is hopelessly outdated in a world where the law now guarantees support to mother and child, but she has the means which he does not (except for vasectomy, which often is only available with restrictions). Countless lives of not only men but also the resulting children have been blighted by the results of the bloated romanticism heaped on the "wonderful motherhood" goal that females are brought up to worship.

Meanwhile we wait for a reliable male contraceptive to be marketed and/or a determined campaign for men to have a vasectomy until it is available, then with NHS/private sperm banks for those who are not certain about accepting a final end to fertility. Just as the molestation and rape of women will drop on the education of men, so will this education/equipping of men and women have a short term effect on the population growth rate. After that, it will stabilise with children being born to mother and father almost exclusively within consent. Those women determined to have a child on their own will have artificial insemination and raise them without a father's support or involvement at all. Overall, there is likely to be a permanent "fertility rate" drop in most or all western countries.

Unrealistic ? While the fertility image persists, yes. Also while not only nothing is done to redress the gender imbalance, this is not even a general topic of conversation. Meanwhile large numbers of men feel unhappy about having been trapped, women amongst each other actually are fully aware of this happening (and have done the trapping), the upbringing is in circumstances/conditions that are widely seen as undesirable. Then we have the effects on children who suffer permanent psychological scarring through all the different consequences of this being ignored. While this goes on we are in effect saying that the deliberate choice of unhappiness is a natural state - is it really ? We all/most of us know someone in this predicament, what percentage of them will in hindsight on their 60th birthday say it was all for the best ?
Karl - you know not all contraceptives are 100% don't you?
Just like everyone else, I know there is some fraction of a percentage point or perhaps one or two at most on the Pill. This fact is however a commonly generated smokescreen within the issue I raised and, although it is not always admitted, the subject is widely (universally) known.

What fascinates me is how the acknowledgement versus denial is a generational thing. Women up to about the age of 45-50 are very inclined to deny/poo-poo. Between about 50-70 they are non-commital, mostly entirely silent. After that I have found that more or less 100% of those I have ever spoken to acknowledge the fact that lots of women deliberately become pregnant in and out of wedlock, often in the full knowledge that the man has absolutely no intention of fathering a child.

I reckon that the first group is heavily under the influence of the "motherhood/fertility" worship aspect, the second is still tied to it via the "duty" to bring up their grandchildren - after all, the mothers were brought up by them to "look forward" to this, bump, pain, nappies, screaming kid and all, all of it wonderful. Why should the grandmothers suddenly go contrary and say their daughters have been worshipping a false god (which between perhaps the ages of 18 and 45 nearly all mothers are perpetuating, generation upon generation) ? Being a grandmother aged 35-50 increasingly becomes harder and harder. The third group is old enough to, free of pretty much all the hypocrisy, acknowledge the conniving did and still does go on. I always wonder if they (the third group) would now be willing to bring the edifice down, maybe I will drum up the courage to ask - they certainly have lost all loyalty to the "omerta". I wonder if there is sufficient doubting there for there to be room for guilt, at least among some.....a tiny few ? It takes a lot of courage to admit sizeable mistakes, the bigger the more courage is needed.
Karl, you write so eloquently and at great length but to be correct this topic is for trying to give a simple answer to a poster's query.

Perhaps you could contact the Editor to write some articles.

Ilovechocolate - I'd go with sqad's (and others) advice on page 1.
Hospital / GP pregnancy tests are not the same at the OTC ones.

I came up "Positive (1-2)" on numerous Clearblue Digital tests and, as I was bleeding heavily at the time with numerous symptoms of early pregancy, I attended A&E, particularly given my history of near-fatal ectopic pregnancy. I came up negative on repeated hospital pregnancy tests but continued getting the same aforementioned results on the Clearblue Digital. According to the female Registrar, it wasn't an uncommon scenario.

My best bet is your hormones have gone a bit haywire and they're causing your body to experience identical symptoms to those you would experience in early pregnancy.

I'd bet my bottom dollar you're NOT pregnant and your periods will restart fairly shortly. Your body will go through many biological processes during your reproductive years.
I gave my thoughts to the OP, then I felt I should reply to a question put to me. It is the nature of fora that sub discussions develop on lots of posts and I would not wish for rules to prevent that, at least within reason.

I hope ilovechocolate will find something relevant to her position within both my contributions (the less than 100% reliability was a fair point for ummmm to mention). This question of the fertility/motherhood doctrine is very relevant to any woman of child bearing age and the OP, I felt, called for the poster to give very serious thought to where she is heading, pregnant or not. At least my thoughts are, I hope, clear and she can reflect, accept or reject any and all of that. This is a serious subject and deserves society's full attention if ever the #metoo did - and I wholeheartedly feel it did/does deserve that (but without some of the hyperbole and opportunism).
you are having a wee girl or wee boy
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I was in fact pregnant, now have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl.

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