Crosswords0 min ago
I Hate Being The Responsible One
35 Answers
Finally bit the bullet regarding mum, I have a phone appointment booked with her GP for monday, have emailed them a summary of what we have noticed , and why we think she might have dementia. I feel sick that I have to do this but she is probably past the point where she could ask for help, anyway she is too stubborn to do it even if she could. I am just tired of the accusations and the phone calls telling me her tv isn't working because the repair shop isn't on, well it wouldn't be it's 0600 but she thinks it should be and its someone else's fault....
The list is endless and will be sadly familiar to do many. life's rubbish sometimes.
The list is endless and will be sadly familiar to do many. life's rubbish sometimes.
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.rowanwitch, its virtually impossible for one person to care for a person with dementia for any length of time. I know this professionally and also personally. Live in carers have to be employed in twos or threes so that they can get a break and residential home staff similarly. Its also amazing how badly affected someone can be and still be able to wash, dress and feed themselves. I knew one lady who even went out to a club and to her hairdressers. The secret was that her whole life was in a tight routine. She travelled everywhere by taxi who knew when to pick her up and where to take her. her shopping was done and delivered by her daughter and she only ever watched one TV channel. She got up when the alarm went off and went to bed when she had seen the news. To strangers she appeared completely functional. Sadly it all went to bits when she got a chest infection.
I do feel a bit for your sister. I have a dog who I won't/can't leave and have never put any of my dogs into quarantine since we had to do it on return from the US. When my mother was alive and I travelled to London to see her, I left the dogs with my husband, and he did the same when he went to see his mum and stepdad. I accept that its hard to understand for people who make different choices.
I do feel a bit for your sister. I have a dog who I won't/can't leave and have never put any of my dogs into quarantine since we had to do it on return from the US. When my mother was alive and I travelled to London to see her, I left the dogs with my husband, and he did the same when he went to see his mum and stepdad. I accept that its hard to understand for people who make different choices.
Himslf got , what was called at the time, enduring power of attorney which meant his decisions re his mother could not be argued with. She went into a home which was paid for largely by renting her house out. The council person in charge of helping people deal with this type of problem was appalling so we did it all ourselves. We found a great care home near us and she was well cared for...even with an ensuite bathroom. I hope that all goes as well as these things do for you. Please do not feel any guilt. Do what you need to do for your own comfort.
Having been in the same position I do feel for you and anyone going through this, Rowan.
My mother was only ten miles away and though it was hard work physically caring for her the emotional strain you're experiencing is so much worse I think.
You've a way of contacting me if you ever want to let off steam or just have an ear..... Gx
My mother was only ten miles away and though it was hard work physically caring for her the emotional strain you're experiencing is so much worse I think.
You've a way of contacting me if you ever want to let off steam or just have an ear..... Gx
The position you are in is awful. I hope you are able to move her closer to you and can settle her in a good care home. This is so hard but the relief was great when she settled - but himself did have to fight the social worker in charge and I was certainly rather startled to be told to give up my job to take over her care......I didn't but I did continue to batch cook her weekly meals and take them to her to ensure she ate.... It really isn't a joy to be in this position. I wish you well
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