Coroner's Report

[jourdain2]

This is a horribly sad and difficult time for me and many people I love.

My dear God-child (33) was found dead on Wednesday. He suffered from depressive attacks but had been on a high at the weekend and for some weeks had been very stable.
He had been born female, but after a long course of drugs was well into transitioning with the surgical route all planned. He had a lot of family and friends support.

I suppose the question is, is it suicide (which would break his mum and many of us) or another cause - the drugs? Aneurism (which his dad died of). Anyway - we have to wait for the Coroner.
His lovely, kind, supportive mum is in a state approaching Hell. Does anyone know how long we are likely to have to wait in this state, please?

[Barmaid]

The Coroner's office is usually quite helpful. It will be worth calling them. A pm will normally establish the cause of death quite quickly and it may be that you will be able to obtain the information over the phone. Once the PM has been concluded, in most cases the remains can be released for burial/cremation and an interim death certificate issued to allow disposal of the remains. In our case it was 5/6 weeks between death and cremation (although it could have been shorter if there was not such a delay in a) having the body transported to the morgue and b) we needed a longer service at the crematorium so we could just not take any 30 min slot.

I appreciate that is not really your question, but in my experience the funeral is quite an important stage in all this.

[jourdain2]

Barmaid. Again, thank you. Although I did not mention it, the funeral has also been preying on my mind. It is hard to get any form of ... I can't think of a word, not 'closure', perhaps 'stability' until after the funeral.
I can't thank you all enough.

[barry1010]

My condolences, jourdain, I hope you and his family have the answers soon.

[jourdain2]

Thank you, too, Barry.

[Patsy33]

My sincere condolences, Jourdain.
So very sad. I hope the family doesn't have to wait too long for answers x

[jourdain2]

Thanks Patsy. The waiting is hard.

[hellywelly4]

Just wanted to send sympathy to you in your very sad situation. xx

[-SharonA-]

Condolences from me Jourdain.

[jourdain2]

Thank you, Helly and Sharon. Update is that we have no cause of death as yet. You sort of shut down after the first horrible realisation and then focus on something - 'cause' is the next focus. Step by step for all of us. :)

[bednobs]

just as a warning, sometimes you don't get a fixed cause of death, or there remains ambiguity around it

[jourdain2]

Thanks, bednobs - I really hope we get some answers Even if they aren't the ones we want. My deep sympathies are with you and what you went through. We have distance as a bit of an issue as well. Sort of hanging around, wanting to go to comfort - or even for a cuppa - but we can't easily.

[bednobs]

thanks j, it was and rremains incredibly hard. 2.5 years on, i still count getting through the day (and night) as an achievement

[Peter Pedant]

The pathologist ( person who does the P M and then reports to the coroner ) will hard to find a cause of death

but it might not be in the form you want

we had: 1) Coronary disease, old bypass, Diabetes secondary to Chronic Pancreatitis, chronic respiratory disease secondary to smoking

and he (big C) STILL dithered about Codeine ( for the diarrhoea secondary to the pancreatitis) which amazingly can be bought over the counter. This one was the 6-monther

[Peter Pedant]

will work hard to find...
damn did proff read it as well

[jourdain2]

Dear bedknobs and PP - you are wonderful - thank you so much. :)

[jourdain2]

Just to say that we have a date for a funeral, thank goodness. 31/5/22 - so I'm getting my car checked-over.
Can't in any way say that I am looking forward to it of course, but it is a necessary part of coping; so in a strange way it is good. Again, thanks for listening.