Gay friend

[ellen_16]

I have a gay friend who is 24. I work with him and i'm quite close to him. I'm 16 remember. He takes me out on drives and picks me up from friends houses etc, texts me, rings me and all sorts. My mum doesnt know about all this but knows that i am good friends with him and she doesnt like it. I cant not see him because he is so great to me, and i cant see the harm as he is gay?! She wants me to give him up but i can't. what shall i do?

[Morrisonker]

Talk to your mum about it and figure out why she's not happy about your friendship. There could be many reasons, maybe she's uncomfortable because she hasn't met him, she might just not approve of gay people, she could be concerned that although he's gay, he's a lot older than you,a lot of the gay men i know do lead a pretty extreme life when it comes to sex, drugs and rock and roll, so prehaps your mum is worried what you're being exposed to.

So tlak it out, then you know what you're up against and hopefully you can convince her that she has nothing to worry about.

[Rubberduckie]

I may have an answer for you Ellen; I hope you don't find it offensive. Years ago at uni, I remember my friends joking about a 'Fag Hag'- a woman who attracts men for a gay friend. I can see that this isn't the case with your relationship but it may be what your mum suspects-? I agree it's a good idea to have a frank chat with her.

[joko]

are you sure he's gay? perhaps your mum thinks its a ruse to get you to let your guard down and then one day, miraculously, "cure" him and turn him straight.

sounds daft i know but i know someone who used to try that on young girls, who were too young to understand that homosexuality is just the way you are, and not something to be "cured".

you also say 'I'm 16 remember' - how would we know that to remember it? That shows that perhaps you just expect people to know and understand the truth, without actually telling anyone - i.e your mum - tell her about him, introduce the etc, show her she's got the wrong impression - if she has...

[*ALFIE*]

Well I agree with Morrisonker - its the fact that his years older than you, you both very close and most importantly she has never seen him or met him. With him being gay really doesn't matter as much but because you're obviously a young girl, your mother is bound to be cautious with you. In the end - she just cares for you.

Pick a good moment, sit down and talk openly to your mother. Remember - she just cares for you.

Good luck :)